


hand in hand

by lovages



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Castiel, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Domestic Fluff, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Family Drama, Family Fluff, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Knotting, M/M, Married Life, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Old Married Couple, Omega Dean, Parenthood, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-27 01:45:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5028910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovages/pseuds/lovages
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean never really expected to settle down with a family, but here he is, blissfully mated to Cas, and raising two pups with him. An ongoing exercise in domesticity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm grabbing the A/B/O bull by the horns and going for it. As much as I love the meet-cute and the "will they/won't they" dynamic and the UST of most fics, I really wanted to write something about all the schmoopy sweet fluff that comes after they get together. I kinda disagree with the whole idea of "nothing else is as boring as a story of successful love," so I'm going to try and disprove it with this. Expect lots of cuddles and sweetness, and a little drama.

Dean can't sleep. He's lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, listening to the soft sounds of Cas' even breathing next to him. He's having a silent crisis, thinking about the pups. His pups. It’s kind of a monumental thought even though he’s had almost two years to get used to the idea. These are children he has with Cas. They're fast asleep too, in the room across the hall.

Claire turns six months old today.

If history repeats itself, this is the night it all goes up in flames. It’s all set up the exact same way, after all. Claire even has a doting older sister. On the other hand, at least Dean can rest assured that his pups will not have his childhood. He has faith that Cas will raise them well if he dies tonight. He eyes the puppy monitor and keeps his ears strained for the slightest noise in the house. Nothing happens. He just lies there for what feels like hours. The minutes slip by on the nightstand clock. He’s not going to die, but apparently he’s not gonna get any sleep either.

Closing his eyes, Dean forces himself to count sheep so he won't think about what happened when Sam was Claire's age. He fails, horribly. He wishes his mother had lived to see his beautiful puppies. His sweet, gentle, gorgeous mate. His family. The life he'd built here. He breathes in deep and sighs softly. Then he turns on his side and buries his nose in the crook of Cas' neck.

"Dean?"

Cas' voice is soft in the dark, rough with sleep. Dean would’ve pretended to be asleep, but he gave himself away by jerking in surprise. Still, he stays quiet.

"What's wrong, baby?" Cas insists, using an endearment that makes Dean's toes curl. He’s pretty sure Cas has no idea how much he loves it. The subsequent embarrassment from how much he enjoys it is usually what Cas picks up on, and teases him for, but every now and then, Cas forgets. Like now.

Dean burrows closer still, finds Cas' fingers and presses their joined hands to Cas' chest, drawing him close. "Nothing. Go back to sleep."

"You’ve been tossing and turning all night. Maybe talking about it will help."

"I'm just," Dean tries, relenting, searching for words, and sighs heavily. He stays put as Cas turns to face him, but then immediately presses closer again. Cas pushes a hand through his hair and the tension Dean didn't know he'd been holding in his shoulders slowly fades. "I'm thinking about our family," he admits. "About my mom."

Cas kisses his forehead and rests his other hand on Dean's belly, probably out of habit. Or intent. There’s no telling with Cas. He thumbs small circles through Dean's shirt in silent encouragement. "I miss her." The confession sticks like a rock in Dean's throat and try as he might, he can't swallow it. "I wish she was here to see you. To see our puppies. She– Sam was the same age as Claire is when it... happened."

"Oh, Dean," Cas says softly, and pulls Dean closer. The kiss to Dean's temple is a silent, fervent condolence. Dean knows his alpha is truly sorry for his losses, and probably gets it more than maybe even Sam. Cas lost his father; he knows what Dean’s feeling, and Dean takes comfort in being seen and understood. He presses his nose against Cas' throat and lets Cas lull him to sleep.  

 

 

In the morning, there is burnt toast. Dean wakes up to the singe of carbon in his nose, sprawled on his stomach over Cas' side of the bed. Which is empty. And that explains the toast. Before he can get up to do something about it, the door opens.

"Good morning," Cas greets before Dean can pretend to be asleep and get a few more minutes of shut-eye. When Dean grumbles, he laughs and perches on the edge of the bed. That's when Dean realizes he's holding Claire. More specifically, feeding her from a bottle.

"Hi." Despite having slept fairly well, Dean still feels groggy. He flops onto his back and watches Cas rock Claire gently. They spend a few minutes in silence, watching Claire with a quiet happiness.

She relinquishes the bottle when there's about a fourth of the milk left, and Cas sets it down to hold her close and burp her. A few moments later, he settles in place beside Dean with Claire on his chest. He curls one arm protectively around her because she's been crawling a lot lately. He reaches out with the other, and finds the slight softness of Dean's stomach, touching him where his shirt had ridden up.

"Want another one?" he asks Cas teasingly, and Claire interrupts him with a gurgling laugh.

"You know I do." Cas' smile is small but brilliant.

"Mm, I want a kiss." Dean rolls closer and onto his stomach, and Cas obliges him with one. He laughs when he feels Claire's tiny hand on his arm, pushing him away. "Someone's possessive."

"I wonder where she gets that," Cas says innocently. They stare at each other incredulously until Dean huffs and shakes his head in amusement.

"Mary?" he asks.

"Already at school. I didn't want to wake you." Cas looks plenty guilty so Dean doesn't push it.

He would've liked to say goodbye to Mary before school. Pack her lunch, and see her off properly. It was a habit he hadn't broken since she first started kindergarten, but he knew Cas had meant well.

"My mother will be here soon," Cas says abruptly. He seems hesitant when he adds, "I can tell her we're indisposed."

"Don't lie to her." Dean really doesn't want that relationship to sour. It's barely even begun to form. And heal. "No, it's fine. She wants to see her son and he grandchild. Let her."

"Dean," Cas sighs. "She wants to see you too."

Now _that's_ a lie.

Dean pushes himself on his elbows and sits up because he doesn't want to argue first thing in the morning. It’s been a source of contention. Cas’ mother, Hester, showed up at their front door after over twenty years of no contact.

The story goes, Cas’ father walked out on them. Just woke up one morning and said he was going to buy eggs. And never came back. Shortly after he turned up dead, under mysterious circumstances that were ruled suicide, Hester shipped her four sons off to her brother’s house. As Cas told it to him, she had a huge multinational pharmaceutical corporation to run, so she didn’t have time to raise four boys by herself.

Still, Dean can’t understand the decision. In the twenty odd intervening years, there had been holidays. Phones existed. Letters were a thing. But Cas grew up believing both his dad and his mom were dead. And really, there’s nothing so pressing that she couldn’t give her children the time of the day. For over twenty years.

The real kicker though, is that she has no idea of the depth of the damage she’s done. Her brother, Zachariah, and his wife were abusive assholes. Dean’s already witnessed firsthand the way they tried to torment Cas even after he got out from under their thumb. He’s dealt with the aftermath, holding Cas in the night after countless nightmares. Cas’ brothers are annoying jerks at best, and equally abusive as their uncle at worst.

So when Hester waltzes in with this windfall, Dean immediately resents her.

Apparently, the feeling’s mutual. She wastes no time in getting Dean alone and expressing her disapproval of him in excruciating detail, with a healthy side of slut-shaming. She's an omega too, so she appreciates the graciousness with which Cas treats Dean at home ("like a king, honestly!") but she thinks Dean is disrespectful and a terrible influence on her precious son.

After all, Dean is beneath Cas' intellectual and emotional maturity. According to her, Dean's just a mechanic, an immoral, loose omega who fathered a pup from an unknown alpha, with nothing but this rundown house and a GED to his name. She comes close to accusing Dean of trapping Cas by getting pregnant with Claire, but Cas chose that moment to come back into the room with drinks for everyone.

"Look, I know my mother can be... austere," Cas says, following Dean when he gets up. "She's an old-fashioned omega that way. And she'll come around to my decision to work at the bakery when she sees how happy it makes me. She'll accept you because she sees how happy you make me. Just give her time."

At that, Dean snaps. How can Cas be so blind? The problems his mother has with Dean are things that can't be changed. Things that Dean wouldn’t change, even if he could. Cas can get a job more suited for his alpha status to make her happy, but the way Dean isn't good for Cas just can't be fixed. He takes a breath and lets it out, but it doesn't calm him, so he says, "She thinks you deserve better. And she's not wrong."

"Dean," Cas protests, but Dean's already slamming the bathroom door shut.  

 

 

In the shower, it strikes Dean that even their disagreements are ludicrously domestic. This life, the kids, the in-laws, the dog and all its trappings, was one never one he imagined for himself. Even after he'd had Mary, it was never supposed to be a 'normal' family life. It was just the two of them (and Sam) against the world.

Then Cas ran into his life.

By the time Dean's finished showering, he's sufficiently embarrassed by his behavior. When he gets downstairs, Cas is watching _T_ _he Little Mermaid_ with Claire. Or rather Cas is watching _The Little Mermaid_ while Claire is chewing on her pacifier contently, nestled on the couch against their white husky, Buddy.

"There's toast in the kitchen. I didn't burn all of them. There's eggs keeping warm in the oven," Cas says, immediately focusing on Dean.

"Thanks," Dean says sheepishly, and slinks off to the kitchen.

Fatherhood with Cas is a dream. Cas goes above and beyond the call of duty. He's on the diaper situation all day, which is half the job (and the worst part), really. He's also the one getting up more often than not to feed and soothe Claire when she wakes up wailing in the middle of the night. He even finds the time to play with Mary and do her homework with her. And there’s all the other little things, from taking Buddy on walks, to cooking and cleaning up, to making sure Dean is happy in so many ways. And god knows Dean's happy as a pig in shit. All he has to do is wake up and Cas is there with him through it all.

When Dean nestles in beside Cas on the couch with a plate, Cas throws an arm around him, and rubs his shoulder absently.

"Have you eaten?" Dean asks around a mouthful of buttered toast.

"Yes. I was hungry after my run."

"Thought we were gonna do that together," Dean mumbles, but he’s not really complaining. He hates running in the morning. He only took it up to lose the puppy belly for Cas’ rut.

Not that Cas ever complained about the puppy belly. Quite the opposite, actually. It’s one trait Cas shares with the stereotypical alpha, and Dean suspects it’s some sort of biological programming, or whatever. Secretly, Dean had always worried that Mary would put Cas off the whole procreating thing because her existence meant that Dean was damaged goods. He was used up garbage to most alphas, and he was fine with that since most alphas were disgusting pricks. But Cas had wanted more pups from the beginning. He came from a big family, and he wanted one of his own, too. And once he’d gotten Dean knocked up, he’d loved the belly with a single-mindedness that bordered on obsession. Claire was out in the world now, so the belly had to go. As much as Dean’s not a fan of the work that goes into it, he’s trying to maintain his fighting weight and eat healthy for the pup.

Cas ruffles his hair and smiles fondly. "I didn't want to wake you."

"It wasn't a big deal." Dean scowls at his plate for a moment and Cas is silent.

"My mother will be here in about fifteen minutes. She wants to have lunch," Cas says eventually. The suggestion is subtle. Dean takes in the white button-down and black slacks Cas is wearing. Right.

"I'll get changed," he promises because he's walking around in boxers and one of his ratty, stretched out, worn pregnancy t-shirts with holes around the hem. He's already made a bad impression but he doesn't need to make it worse. He owes it to Cas to try, even if the thought of getting all dolled up for his elitist mother-in-law annoys him.

Cas squeezes his tense shoulder until he relaxes, and says teasingly, "I don't feel comfortable letting my mother get so well acquainted with your butt. That's all."

"Where are we going for lunch?" Dean asks instead, trying to decide what to wear. Hester has a penchant for one of the fancier (and douchier, and more expensive) restaurants in town, and Dean can honestly say he'd be happy to continue life without ever having to go back... but if he had to, he would. For Cas.

"Um," Cas hesitates. "I was hoping you'd agree to cook."

Dean's surprised, but he keeps his eyes on his plate and shrugs. He knows he's a good cook, but this is just asking for trouble. Then again, if it's what Cas really wants, he doesn't mind. "Alright."

"If I may, I have a suggestion for the menu," Cas continues, still hesitant.

"I can't really do a five course meal in this time frame, Cas, but shoot."

"I know that," Cas says, earnest now. "I wouldn't ask that of you. You're free to cook whatever you decide is best, but I was hoping you'd make your spaghetti."

"Oh." Another surprise, and this time he leans back to look at Cas. It's impossible not to think of the first time he invited Cas over. He'd made spaghetti and meatballs because it was Mary's favorite. Turns out, it's Cas' too. A happy coincidence. Of course, Dean's also pretty sure Hester's gonna turn her nose up at such a humble, homely meal.

"I didn't mean to spring this on you. We can go out if you don't want to cook," Cas says worriedly, taking Dean's silence for reluctance.

"No, I can- I got this," Dean insists, catching Cas' chin and pulling him close for a kiss. A reassurance. Cas rarely asks for anything. This wasn't a huge ask. "I just didn't think she'd want to stay in and eat at home."

"Thank you, Dean." Cas rests his forehead against his and relaxes. "I know it's unusual but I want her to know how I fell in love with you."


	2. Chapter 2

Hester loves her granddaughter.

Normally, Dean would expect that, but she hates him, so he expects her to treat Claire like vermin, simply because of the shared DNA. Then again, that exact reason was probably the draw for Hester. The genes Cas had passed on through Claire. For once, Dean's grateful he's busy in the kitchen because then he doesn't have to actually talk to Hester. That doesn't mean he can't eavesdrop.

"... Castiel, I beg you to please reconsider." Hester implores. She enunciates every word like she’s trying to hammer them out, and her voice dips and trembles along with it. She must be really passionate about her cause to free Cas from the crushing confines of suburban domesticity. "Don't just dismiss it. Promise me you will think about it. The pay scale alone–"

"Mother." Cas' voice is strained with frustration. "I love my job. I'm good at it, and it makes me happy."

"You have a family to support," Hester hisses, losing her temper. "You can't afford to be so selfish. This child deserves a chance. She deserves the best life you can give her."

"We do our best, and I’m sure it’s good enough," Cas says stubbornly. "I believe we provide both our children a very fulfilling life. They get what they want, and they’re not spoiled. Even though I may have some shortcomings, Dean is an exemplary father to both our children."

Silence.

Dean doesn't need a were's nose to tell that Hester is fuming. He blends the tomatoes for the sauce and it drowns out the conversation for some time. When he stops, the water’s bubbling so he tosses the pasta in and covers the pot with a lid. The living room is eerily quiet, so Dean decides to go check on them. He doesn't put it past Hester to run away with Claire. She seems exactly the kind to pull that kinda shit. The tension in the air is thick enough that he could cut it with a knife.

"Can I get you something to drink, Hester?" he asks politely, wiping his hands on his apron. It was a silly novelty “Kiss the Cook!” one that he’d bought for Cas to wear to work. Charlie promptly stuck Cas behind the register, and the apron ended up back home after the very first day. He may have worn it just to annoy Hester.

"It's Mrs. Novak to you," she says coldly, not even bothering to look at Dean. Dean forces himself to keep calm but Cas, who’d been trying to studiously work the remote in an effort to turn the TV on, loses it. His cheeks flush with anger, and his hands ball into fists at his sides.

"Don't talk to him like that," he growls. "He’s my husband."

"Cas, it's alright," Dean starts to say, trying to defuse the impending explosion.

"He isn't. You're not married," Hester points out, looking at Cas pityingly. "It’s not too late to–"

Cas snarls low and dangerous, and Dean's hackles rise. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots Buddy moving to stand in front of Claire’s puppy swing protectively. Dean should probably take Claire upstairs, away from the impending explosion, but he’s rooted to the spot, unsure if he should move.

"Mother." There's a hardness in Cas’ eyes that makes Dean grateful he's not on the receiving end of that look. "He's my mate; the love of my life. This is our home, and these are our children. I’m happy with my life the way it is. You don't have to accept it, but you cannot try to change it. You lost any right you might have had to do such a thing. I’m trying to mend our relationship, but you're not welcome here if you continue to disrespect Dean."

Hester gets to her feet, visibly offended. "You'd choose him over your own blood?"

"Yes," Cas says firmly, like it’s that simple. Maybe for him it is, Dean realizes.

"What has he been telling you?" she demands, glaring at Dean.  

"He didn’t have to tell me anything. I know you've been talking to him behind my back, filling his ears with hateful poison. I’m only going to say it once more. If you can't respect Dean, you're not welcome here anymore." For a moment Dean thinks – hopes – Hester might be embarrassed enough to leave. But she calms herself forcefully and reaches into her handbag.

"I brought my granddaughter a present," she says primly. "Am I allowed to give it to her?"

Dean's heart sinks. He knows exactly where this is going, and he doesn’t want to be here for it. He’s already thinking of ways to explain whatever it is that Hester likely only got for Claire so Mary won’t feel hurt or left out. It sucks. It just all round sucks, and Dean decides to save his annoyance about it until after Hester has left. Maybe he’ll throw away what Hester got Claire. Or go out and get something for Mary himself. There, problem mostly solved, and he didn't make an unnecessary scene.

He turns around to take his anger and hurt out on some onions, but Cas asks, seemingly nonchalantly, "Which one?"

"I have but one granddaughter, Castiel," Hester says, and Dean grits his teeth, tense and frozen in place.

"Get. Out."

Cas’ voice is a deadly calm, packed with fury. The room is heavy with his scent, and it's acrid and oppressive. Suffocating. It makes Dean turn around, aching to cower from the wrath even though it isn't directed at him. He's rarely seen Cas so angry before. It's arresting. Awe-inspiring. Buddy growls and his ears flatten as he bodily shields Claire. For a moment, Claire’s wide-eyed and silent in shock. Then she starts to howl, clearly frightened, and that breaks the spell. Dean hurries to pick her up and soothe her.

Hester looks shaken. She's crossed a line and she knows it. She actually starts to apologize but Cas cuts her off.

"No," he says coldly. "Not today."

"Castiel," she starts, but balks at the look he gives her. She leaves with her head bowed.

At the sound of the door shutting behind her, Dean exhales. Cas slumps. Dean goes over to wrap an arm around him and Cas sags against him. He lets out a low, mournful whine that tears at Dean's heart. Buddy whines and paws at their legs, trying to get in on the hug, trying to understand why his pack is hurting so much.

"I'm sorry, Dean," Cas croaks eventually, grabbing a fistful of Dean's shirt.

"Hey, none of that," Dean says sternly, steering Cas to the couch as best as he can when he has one armful of squalling pup and an excited dog trying to climb him. "Buddy, down,” he says tersely, before focusing on Cas again. “Let's just sit down. One thing at a time."

"But the food..."

"Fuck that, Cas," he says, not unkindly, rubbing Cas' back firmly. "This is more important. We'll get a new  kitchen if we have to."

"I made Claire cry. I scared you," Cas mumbles, burying his nose in Dean's throat. He’s cold and his breath comes out shaky. "Don't lie to me Dean, please," he insists when Dean opens his mouth to protest.

For a moment, Dean’s truly at a loss. Everything happened so quickly. He should’ve paid more attention. He should’ve been here for Cas, not hiding out in the kitchen. He chooses his words carefully and finally says, "It's not your fault. No, I don't wanna hear it. She hasn't been hearing you. Look at me, Cas.” Cas refuses, still shaking, but Dean pauses, tipping Cas’ chin up with a finger. Cas needs to hear this. “I'm proud of you."

 

 

That's when Dean realizes that Cas had been drawn and anxious the whole time. Restless. Worried. It explains the burnt toast – who burns toast anymore? The setting on the toaster rarely ever changes. It also explains the lone run in the morning; Cas had tried to burn through the excess energy and nerves.

Dean does his best to pick up the pieces over the next few days. Cas loves cuddles, soaking up touch, whether it was by holding Dean or being held. So Dean stays close, grooms and kisses his alpha, and makes sure Cas feels loved and cherished. They’re in the kitchen when Cas stops attacking the burnt noodles fused to the pot, and gets this faraway look in his eyes. When the scrub of the brush against metal stops, Dean looks up from checking his email.

"Maybe she was right," Cas says suddenly. He turns to look at Dean with wide-eyed anxiety. "I am being selfish. We haven't been able to sell my old place across the street, and you're barely getting back to work. I'm pretty much on unpaid leave, and we're not living off our savings– we're eating into what we put away for the pups’ future."

"Woah, alright, slow down," Dean says, shutting his laptop.

When Cas first moved out here, it had been with this idealism that Dean had immediately liked. He remembers the way Cas talked about his old job, his old life. Cas hadn’t been happy. He’d wanted a fresh start. Wanted to pursue his dream of becoming a pastry chef. Dean has watched Cas flourish at Charlie’s bakery for the past two years. Heck, Cas is so good, he made it into a local magazine within the first few months of working there. And for Cas to throw it all away because Hester swaggered in here… no. It’s not happening.

But, the thing is, Cas is not wrong. The only reason taking a criminally long paternity leave from work makes sense is if the house in question sells. Only, it's turned into a white elephant because they sink money into maintenance. On its own, it wouldn’t be that much of a burden, but the expenses add up. Raising two pups isn't cheap.

"Dean." Cas sighs impatiently, and wipes his hands on a dishcloth. "I hate to admit it," he sighs, ducking his head all guilty-like. Stronger than the guilt however, is the panic. "My mother was right. I should take the job she got me."

And here's the other thing– Cas looks determined. Dean could bustle on about how his mom's scaring them and doesn't understand shit, but Cas has that look on his face. He's rehearsed this conversation. He'd expecting Dean to insist they're fine. Dean chews his lip for a moment, thinking. Then he gets up, walks over to Cas, and grasps his shoulders.

"I think she's got you freaked out," he says. When Cas opens his mouth to protest, he presses on and steers Cas to the table. Once they're both sitting, he takes Cas' hands in his. "Just hear me out. Yeah, this is costly. We're not rich, and we don't have an endless amount of money, but we're okay, Cas. We're happy. It's not like we're starving or can't afford Christmas presents. And I don't want you to throw away a job you love in a blind fit of panic, okay?"

It's not enough, though. Dean has to make a concrete offer of some kind. Provide a solution to the obvious problem that Hester has brought up. A very real problem. He takes a breath, mulling it over and then sighs. He has to compromise.

"Okay, we’ll work this out. Let's start by going back to a few more hours or a few more days. Ease back into it. See how that goes?" he suggested, looking at Cas hopefully.

"I want to be at home with Claire," Cas says stubbornly. He turns their hands around to interlock his fingers in Dean's. "But I think you're right, so I'll do Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'll take the early morning shift so I can be home for the rest of the day."

"Okay. Yeah. Sounds good," Dean agrees, even though he doesn't really want Cas crawling out of bed at the ass crack of dawn. This is something Cas needs to do, though. Something they both need to prove to themselves. "I'll ask Bobby for some freelance stuff–"

"No," Cas interrupts, squeezing Dean's hands in apology. "I don't like that. I mean," he fumbles, averting his gaze. "It's only been a few months, Dean. You're still nursing Claire. I'd rather you worked on selling the house. Can you meet the other realtor Ellen put us onto? Please?"

Dean wants to argue that it’s actually been a little over six months, and he’s more than able to handle the work, but he sighs and relents. Cas knows he's won this one. He scoots closer and kisses Dean's forehead.

"Thank you, Dean," Cas says fervently, scenting him shamelessly. "There's just one more thing."

"What's that?"

"I don't think we can salvage that pot." Cas gives him a mournful look.

Dean huffs in amusement and drags Cas closer for a kiss. "You can make it up to me."

 

 

By the weekend, they're mostly back to normal. Hester's unpleasant visit and the aftermath are pretty much a distant cloud in the past. Well, not that distant, but at least it’s not casting a shadow over them.

Dean settles in to savor the last of having Cas entirely to himself before Cas goes back to work. Some days they run together in the mornings, and when they get home, Cas steals a few kisses while they're still hot and sweaty before they have to part ways. One particular such morning Cas gives him a heated look as they get home, and Dean knows he's in trouble when he fumbles with the key.

"It's been a while," Cas growls, catching Dean by the waist once they're safely inside. He slots their hips together, and starts to wrap his arms around Dean's middle, wandering fingers picking up Dean's t-shirt. It's a little too hot, just verging on uncomfortable, but before Dean can say anything, Ellen clears her throat.

Right. She’s still here, watching Claire for them. Dean had forgotten about that.

"Boys," she warns, nursing a large mug of coffee.

Cas steps back, and has the grace to look mildly embarrassed. "Good morning, Ellen," he greets, even as his hand finds Dean's wrist, and he starts to tug Dean towards the stairs.

“Mornin’, Cas,” she says warily, decidedly not looking at them.

"I'll be down in ten minutes to start breakfast," Dean calls over his shoulder.

"Take your time," Ellen mutters, trying to hide her amused exasperation as she walks to the couch, turning the volume on the TV up.

Dean tries to stifle the chuckles at least until they get upstairs, but once they get to the bedroom, Cas crowds him and kisses the laughter out of him. Dean's actually got a few inches on Cas, but times like this, when Cas gets it in his head and goes all hungry alpha, he actually manages to make Dean feel small. Maybe it's a personality thing. Whatever it is, Dean enjoys it. He inhales sharply as Cas presses closer and his hot, soft mouth parts against Dean's lips. Cas cards a hand through Dean's hair, tugging at the sweat-damp strands before his fingers slide lower to cradle Dean's head.

"I wanna make love to you," he whispers between tantalizing kisses that are little more than achingly soft brushes of lips. "Tonight, Dean. Please."

"Yes," Dean pants, baring his throat. It used to embarrass the crap out of him when Cas talked like that. Really took him out of the moment. But now, he thinks it's sweet. It's Cas, so maybe that's why Dean (hesitantly, tentatively) likes hearing it. Cas takes him up to a boil, sucking on the sensitive bite and grinding hotly against him. Dean holds on for dear life and buries his face in the crook of Cas' neck so he doesn't do something stupid, like moan.

"Come on," Dean begs, tightening his grip on Cas' hair, and Cas obliges by rucking his shirt up and mouthing at a sensitive nipple. "Fuck, yes," he whimpers, and the sensitive buds harden almost immediately. As if on cue, he starts to get slick.

Cas catches the scent like a bloodhound. When he lifts his head, Dean knows he's toast.

"I can't help it," Dean smirks, lazily rubbing his thigh against Cas' erection. "You started it."

When Cas growls and kisses him again, it sends a thrill down Dean's spine. Two years together and he's still putty in Cas' hands. He hums into the kiss, and whimpers when Cas nips at his lower lip. As they shower, Cas brings him down to a simmer. Temporarily.

"Gonna eat you out," he promises, hot and filthy in Dean's ear. "Want you to sit on my face and just – fuck, Dean, your slick–"

And Dean can't hold back the moan Cas rips out of him. He braces himself against the tiled wall as Cas covers his back and slides two fingers into him. His legs shake as Cas fingers him expertly, unerringly finding his prostate with every thrust. There's no build up, just swift, brutal intensity because Cas knows his body so well. Knows just where to curve his fingers and how hard to fuck, just when to turn the dial up and go full throttle. Dean lasts an embarrassingly short amount of time – barely a minute – before he comes, cock untouched.

"Cas," he manages, resting his forehead on the cool tiles. He's flushed all over in spite of the shower, and his skin feels like one endless erogenous zone. Cas' fingers are still inside him, and Cas' mouth is still fastened over his bite. Dean whines softly because he's starting to get over-sensitive, and that's when Cas relents a little, but not without growling possessively first. He flips Dean around to face him and kisses what little breath Dean manages to catch out of him. Then he sucks his slick fingers clean, and glances at Dean's cock hungrily.

"Tonight," he says firmly, but Dean’s not sure who he’s trying to placate.

Dean circles his arms around Cas' neck and kisses him again, soundly. He feels a little dizzy and tingly all over. "Love you," he murmurs, and manages to jerk Cas off slow and easy. They end up kissing in the shower until they're pruny. Breakfast takes a lot longer than ten minutes.

The rest of the day passes in a haze of chores. Dean's aware of Cas' constant touch. A hand on his knee, lips pressed to his cheek or his forehead, the line of heat between them when Cas nestles up against his side on the couch.

That night Cas keeps his promise. Dean wraps his legs around Cas' hips, and Cas presses Dean's hands above his head. Cas gets Dean so slick, Dean's sure there's practically a sea between his legs, but Cas fucking relishes it. He draws the first orgasm out of Dean slow and torturous, and then while Dean is still panting, his cock slides home. Dean makes a raw sound, as his sensitive hole is breached, but Cas keeps going until Dean whimpers through the last spurt of come.

"You take it so well, Dean," Cas pants in a strained voice, going still when he's fully sheathed. "Gonna come for me again, aren't you?"

And then he fucks Dean into a senseless puddle of oversensitive skin. And then he knots Dean, and Dean fulfills the prophecy and comes again. And then he drags his lips over Dean's jaw, murmuring filthy praise interspersed with sappy sweet nothings.

"So good for me, my sweet omega." Cas rubs his face against Dean's bite like a cat in heat. "Don't know how much I need you. Don't know how fucking amazing you taste, how you sound when you're fucking yourself on my tongue."

Dean's long since given up denying it. Cas believes it, and that's enough for him. They're still tied together, and Dean, still recovering, breath catching when he feels the way Cas' knot pulses in excitement.

Cas practically crushes them together and demands, "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"I think so," Dean teases softly, resting a hand in Cas' hair, jerking slightly when Cas bends to lave at a nipple.

"I feel so – I want more. I don't know what to do with myself," Cas admits, rolling them onto their sides. A moment later, still restless, he pushes Dean onto his back again and settles on top of him. "You drive me crazy, you know that? I love you so much. I don't know how to handle it."

Dean chuckles and drags his hand through Cas' hair, and the grooming settles Cas down immediately. "I guess it's a good thing I love you too then, huh?"

"I guess so," Cas agrees quietly, smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a touch of drama, and shameless, gratuitous smut. I promise there's like a semblance of a plot in the future. Not really. No, I kid.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean wakes up to his phone ringing. He squints against the sunlight pouring in, and gropes around the nightstand blindly. There's no use trying to move any further because Cas is snoring softly into his neck, lying half on top of him like a sack of potatoes.

"Hello?"

"Good morning, Dean."

Dean should've checked to see who was calling before he answered. Or he should've put two and two together, going by the stiff, disapproving tone and that unmistakeable voice. "Yeah?" he rasps instead, closing his eyes and turning away from the too-bright sunlight.

"It's Hester Novak."

And just like that, Dean's wide awake. Maybe this was Cas' phone. "Oh. I'll have Cas call you back."

"Actually, I wanted to speak with you, Dean," Hester says, and it's like the surprises refuse to end this morning. "Is this a good time?"

"Uh," Dean says intelligently. He manages to kick his brain into working after a few moments of awkward silence and adds, "Give me a minute."

Cas is still asleep, totally undisturbed. Dean tries to weigh the decision, and ends up sighing. On the one hand, this is Cas' mom, so he should be in on this conversation. On the other, Hester had caused considerable damage, and shows no signs of changing her ways. Cas doesn’t need protecting, but Dean is tired of letting the people who are supposed to be family hurt him. Being bonded by blood doesn't give Hester a right to Cas. Certainly not the right to come in and wreak havoc.

Dean decides to take the call. If she has anything worthwhile to say, he'll bring Cas in.

Once he manages to crawl out of bed, he's surprised to find he's actually dressed in his usual sleepwear. He must've passed out, and Cas, knowing that Mary liked to sneak in to cuddle up with them every now and then, must've cleaned them up and dressed them both. Pausing to kiss the top of Cas' head, he tiptoes out of the room and down the stairs.

"Alright," he says, heading to the kitchen. "What can I do you for, Mrs. Novak?"

"I'd like a second chance to get to know you, and my granddaughters."

Dean bites his lip and stares at the coffee maker before turning it on. Hester sounds sincere enough, and she's actually being civil right now, but he doesn't trust her. "I think that’s Cas' decision," he says carefully.

Hester's sigh is a rush of static on the phone. "I know you don't trust me, Dean. I understand that. And I understand that you want to protect him." She sighs again, and she seems to struggle for a moment. Finally, she continues, "I haven't been a good mother to Castiel. Actually, I haven't been much of a mother at all. I realize I wasn't ready to make amends with him, even though I thought I was. You have to believe me. I just want what's best for him. And I can see now that it's you. The children. You're his family. More than I ever was."

The coffee maker interrupts the ensuing silence with a gurgle and hiss. Dean chews his lip, uncertain of what to make of this.

"He's my son, Dean," Hester says, voice breaking with emotion. "I don't want to lose him again."

Dean sighs and rubs his forehead. Dammit.

"Okay," he says. "I'll talk to him. But if you hurt him again, you're out."

"I appreciate this very much." Hester's tone is stiff but her relief is evident.

"Yeah, well, don't," Dean says dryly, getting himself a mug. "It's still Cas' call. I'm just the middle man. And if you fuck it up this time, you really will regret it. You reached out to me, Mrs. Novak. You want my help. Means we play by my rules now."

Hester is silent for a moment before she speaks stiffly. "I will earn your trust, Dean."

"We'll see," Dean says lightly, his tone a contrast from how tensely he's holding himself. But Hester can't see him, so it doesn't matter. "Cas will call you with his answer. Is there anything else?"

"That is all. Good day, Dean."

"You too," he chirps in a tone that belies his mood, hanging up before he sighs heavily. Well, there's no way he can sleep now. As much as he wants to go back upstairs and crawl into bed with Cas, he has to think about this. Besides, everyone will be up soon, and that means there will need to be breakfast. He might as well get started on it. Now that he has time, he can make hash browns.

He's so engrossed in cooking and thinking about how to handle the Hester situation, he doesn't hear Cas come downstairs. He doesn't even hear Cas enter the kitchen. He definitely doesn't realize Cas is closing in on him until a pair of arms snake around his waist from behind and by then, it's too late. Dean yelps and drops the potato he's skinning as Cas' stubble scratches against his shoulder.

"You scared the crap outta me, Cas," he chides, huffing softly.

"I woke up alone," Cas murmurs accusingly, still half asleep. His hands stray under Dean's shirt, fingertips tracing the stretch marks, palms smoothing up the softness, and just like that Dean's in a much better mood. "G'morning handsome."

"You sleep okay?" Dean asks, turning so he can kiss Cas.

Cas hums. "Like a puppy. You?"

"Yeah," Dean smiles fondly.

It's just that Cas is so goddamn adorable after he gets laid. Normally, he's moody and surly in the mornings, but times like now, he's sleepy-eyed and rosy-cheeked. Dean decides he'll hold off on the conversation about Hester at least until after breakfast.

"What is it?" Cas asks, narrowing his eyes suspiciously, and accepting the mug of coffee Dean hands him.

Dean feigns innocence. "Nothing."

"Tell me," Cas insists, following Dean to the stove and pressing up to his back. And how is Dean supposed to resist a hot, sleepy alpha rubbing against him? He’s only human.

He leans back into Cas’ arms, and says, "I like you like this. Wanna blow you."

Cas' smile is lazy and pleased, but his eyes are alight. "That can be arranged."

 

 

 

The longer Dean goes without mentioning it, the harder it gets to bring it up naturally. And yet it weighs on his mind all the time. In the end, there is no specific opportune time They're having dinner three days later when Dean blurts, "So your mom called. And uh, can you pass the mac and cheese?"

Cas passes him the food and sits there in stunned silence for a moment. "What did she want?" he asks stiffly. Eventually. He's clearly trying for casual and failing miserably.

"Um," Dean says, aware that Mary is listening intently. "She wants another chance."

"Oh. Okay." Cas just goes back to eating like they'd been talking about the weather. Cool as a freakin' cucumber. It's Dean's turn to be stunned.

"Okay?" he echoes, frowning, but Cas just shrugs and continues shoveling food in his mouth.

Given that this isn't the greatest place for the conversation, Dean drops it. Dean’s barely begun to explain Hester, nevermind the entire fucked up situation to Mary. Besides, Cas has a tendency to go silent and take his time to come up with a response. And Dean’s found that it’s best to wait it out.

The response doesn't come until next day.

"Why did she call you?" Cas asks, resting his chin on Dean's shoulder. It's something of an ambush in the nursery, and Dean's caught off guard. 

He fidgets slightly, adjusting his grip on Claire as he nurses her, but doesn't shrug Cas off. He'd had high hopes of nursing her until she turned one at least, but he's finding it uncomfortable. For some reason it hadn’t been so difficult with Mary, but things had been different then. Dean’s not getting younger. And Claire’s latch feels a lot stronger. They've been weaning her off and slowly switching to formula, but Dean misses getting to hold her and bond like this, so sometimes he breaks his own rule.

"A few days ago," he replies, tensing when Cas rests his head against his shoulder. "I tried to find the right time to bring it up, but..."

Cas nods. "You were trying to protect me."

"I told her it was your decision," Dean explains, trying not to bristle. He hesitates and then says, "She seemed sincere. I think she spent so long fantasizing about the life she thought you had that she just couldn't accept the reality. And she doesn't want to lose you."

"Is that what you really think?" Cas asks, wrapping his arms around Dean's waist. "Or is that what she wanted you to say?"

Dean frowns. "I'm not that easily influenced."

"I didn't mean–" Cas balks. "You're right. I'm sorry. I find it hard to believe, that's all."

"I'm on your side, Cas," Dean says, starting to feel angry. "She called me. I didn't reach out to her. I'm not trying to go behind your back. I haven't been hiding anything from you."

Cas lets go and takes a step back. "You never told me the rude things she said to you."

Dean goes a little cold at the accusation. It's just as well that Claire's done because he's officially pissed as hell. He tugs his shirt down and holds her upright, focusing on her so Cas will stew in it for a while. Cas deserves to stew in it for a while. By the time Dean sets Claire down in her crib, Cas looks torn, but clearly not ready to apologize. Dean's already worked himself up, so he just lets it out.

"I'm not gonna come crying to you 'cuz your mom decided to be a bitch, okay? I don't need protecting from her, and I don't need you to do it. I've had to deal with people thinking I'm useless before you, and I'll have to deal with it for the rest of my life. Doesn't make a difference where it comes from."

He regrets it almost immediately because Cas looks like he's been slapped. As it sinks in, Cas gets defensive. Curling his hands into fists, he lowers his chin and sets his jaw.

"I know you don't need me, Dean," he says, but then he sighs and goes limp. The fight just goes out of him. "Why is it that you feel justified protecting me, but I can't try to protect you without getting burnt for it? I feel like–" he starts, but his phone rings, interrupting him. "It's my mother," he says, looking at the caller ID. "I wanted to make this decision with you. I don't want to do it alone because it's – I thought it was a family decision."

"It is," Dean agrees, but he's wary. In a way, he feels stupid about this whole argument. This is ridiculous. He trusts Cas. He knows Cas trusts him. It’s not like he’s been hiding anything, but suddenly... He's starting to see Hester's insidious plan now. She's managed to drive a wedge between him and Cas with one simple phone call.

Cas appears to be thinking the same thing because he lets out a harsh, rueful chuckle and says with grudging admiration, "She's good."

Dean doesn’t like that. It shouldn’t be so easy for Hester to sow doubts. He knows what he and Cas have together is rock solid. It’s time to live up to it.

"Maybe she's not," Dean says, surprising himself. He shrugs. "Maybe we're giving her too much credit. Letting her get to our heads."

Cas considers this, nodding thoughtfully. His phone stops ringing. "We're stronger together," he decides, taking a hopeful step closer to Dean. "Can you promise me one thing? No more shielding me from her. Please?"

"Cas," Dean protests, hackles rising, but he forces himself to relax and sighs.

"I can face her, Dean," Cas says. "I have to face her. And the best way to help me is to be there, by my side. Holding my hand."

Dean considers this, chewing his lip for a moment. He nods and closes the rift between them, stepping closer and into Cas' ready embrace. "I'm with you, Cas," he says, burying his nose in Cas' throat.

Cas clings to him, shaking slightly. "Thank you."  

 

 

 

They make the call together. It's hard to tell if Hester is displeased by the turn of events, but it's clear she expected Cas to make the call alone. She agrees she’s been hasty to judge Dean and even scrounges up something resembling an apology (though Dean suspects that it’s to placate Cas more than anything else). Cas forgives her, sort of. She’s on a probationary period, and they’ve agreed to dinner a week from now.

It's kind of anticlimactic.

Buddy rests his head against Dean's belly, a habit he hasn't broken since Dean's pregnancy. It's a habit that never fails to make Cas grumpy and possessive. Buddy just looks up at them with his innocent soulful doggy eyes.

"Such a spoiled dog," Cas grumbles the moment they hang up. "He shouldn't even be on the couch."

Dean scratches behind Buddy's ears, stifling a smile. "He's here for moral support. Family decision, remember?"

Cas just scowls harder. A moment later he flops his head on Dean’s shoulder. "Did that go okay?" he asked anxiously.

"Yeah," Dean says, and wraps an arm around Cas' shoulders, dragging him closer to kiss his temple. "You did good. Stop worrying so much, babe."

"Okay." Cas sags against Dean, resting his cheek on Dean's chest, and Dean automatically pushes a hand through his hair, grooming him slowly. "I have to go to work," Cas sighs softly. "I don't wanna go," he whines, turning to bury his face in Dean's chest. "I want kisses."

Dean huffs in amusement and scratches behind Cas' ears in a way that makes Cas wriggle amusingly. "When you get home," he promises, kissing the top of Cas' head.

"I'll hold you to that," Cas murmurs, sighing heavily again. After a few moments of quiet, he says, "I don't know if we're making the right decision. I feel like I want her in my life because she's my mother, but we don't know anything about her. She hasn't really proved herself to be a good person."

Dean thinks about it and shrugs. "Sometimes first impressions go badly."

"Yes," Cas agrees, picking at some lint on Dean's shoulder. "But it's more than that. I remember when my father abandoned us. It broke her heart. You'd think she wouldn't have turned around and abandoned her children the same way. And I have tried to rationalize it because yes, she had a vast company to run, but..."

This is the hard part, because Dean knows what Cas is struggling with right now. The years of abuse that went unnoticed. The absolute hell Cas' aunt and uncle put him and his brothers through. Dean tightens his grip on Cas, a low growl escaping his lips despite himself. Buddy whines, and Dean clears his throat in apology, stroking his fur until he settles down again. It's something Dean has wondered about, as well. He can forgive the negligence because he's no stranger to absentee parents, but it's only because he was lucky enough to have been cared for by someone like Bobby.

"Yeah," Dean agrees quietly, and Cas meets his gaze for a few moments.

"Dean..."

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't forgive her. I can’t. I'm not – I'm proud of you, Cas," he says firmly. "Whatever you decide, I'll stand by you. You know I got your back."

Cas gives him a watery smile. "How do you still have all this faith in me?"

Hell, now there's a lump in Dean's throat.

"You shouldn't. It's in my blood, Dean. I ran, too. I abandoned you, and Mary, and our unborn pup." Cas looks so wrecked by the realization once he says it aloud.

They don’t talk about that. Their first Thanksgiving together had been nothing short of a disaster.

Between Cas’ brothers and Zachariah tracking Cas’ new home down and the pressure of hosting right as Dean’s heat kicked in, things had been tense. Even now, Dean’s stomach twists at the thought of Zachariah’s filthy insinuation that he was the alpha that fathered Mary; that he was the one night stand Dean doesn’t remember. The rest of it is a blur. Cas had moved so fast. One second he was fuming silently, the next he was beating the truth of it out of Zachariah. It was a cruel lie that was designed to hurt, but what was really frightening was Cas’ controlled rage. The way Dean had had to beg for Cas to stop before Cas listened.

But that wasn’t the worst part.

Dean doesn’t want to remember that feeling of panic. Waking up to an empty house, running out just in time to see Cas driving away. Zachariah’s unplanned visit had been a shock, but nothing had devastated Dean as much as seeing Cas leave. He knew Cas left to protect him and Mary from his brothers and Zachariah. It had been an agonizing week, but Cas is blaming himself for too much. They hadn’t even known Dean was pregnant then. Besides, Dean’s forgiven it all. Cas is here now. And he’s not going anywhere. That’s what matters.

"Stop," Dean says firmly, moving to draw Cas into a bear hug. "Stop it. That's not the same thing. You're not gonna beat yourself up about this."

"Too late," Cas huffs, and Dean hauls him closer to kiss his forehead.

"Do you really have to go to work?"

That gets a weak chuckle out of Cas. "Yes. Unfortunately. Madison has already baked the cakes. I have to put it together and ice it. The wedding is tomorrow."

"I don't want you to go," Dean growls, dislodging Buddy from his lap as he turns to sling a possessive leg over Cas, trapping him on the couch.

"I have to go, Dean," Cas insists, trying not to smile, but Dean already knows he's managed to cheer Cas up. It's such a silly little thing, but it works. Sometimes.

"I'll miss you," Dean says with a threatening pout.

Cas butts his head gently, and folds his hand over Dean's, squeezing tightly. Unlike Dean’s teasing, he really means it when he says, "I'll miss you too."

"Love you," Dean murmurs, nuzzling Cas' cheek before dipping in for a kiss.

Cas returns it with equal fervor and grips Dean's hair when they break apart, panting softly. He smiles, kiss-red lips twitching mischievously. "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never posted as I wrote before. I always complete a fic if it's chaptered and post it all in one go. WIPs make me anxious because I'm worried about losing steam or never finishing. Even now, I'm a little ahead of where the story is right now so I will always have something ready to post on Sunday rain or shine. I didn't post this past Sunday, and the reason for that is that I've been having doubts. The past week had been hell, and I've been doubting a lot of things (from my presence online to this story). When Sunday rolled around, I tried to run through a last edit and post, but I hated everything I'd written. I considered deleting this fic. I didn't, and I'm glad. The point is, I'm really grateful for every hit, kudos, bookmark, subscriber and comment I get on this. I'm a little more grateful for the comments. It means a lot to me. Seeing you guys talk about what you enjoy about this, even if it is a few words, encourages me to keep going with it. So thank you for sticking around. I promise to try and see this through. I love you all ♡


	4. Chapter 4

The bed creaks and Dean's eyes snap open. He makes a blind grab for the sneaky alpha trying to crawl out of bed without waking him.

"Dean," Cas growls when he's caught, back to his surly morning self. "Come on, let go."

"No." Dean clings to him stubbornly, tugging until Cas flops back into bed. He grunts softly when Cas ends up half on top of him. "Where'you goin'?"

"Shower," Cas sighs, relenting. He scent-marks Dean lazily. "I have to be at work, remember? In about," he lifts his head to glance at the nightstand clock. "Twenty minutes."

Dean fidgets and whines at the unfairness, allowing himself to be totally childish about this. Cas is trying not to laugh at him, but the way he's shaking totally gives him away.

"You said two days, and you even took the evening shift yesterday," Dean accuses between the sharp nips and kisses he leaves on Cas' neck.

"I took an extra shift," Cas admits, wincing when Dean nips at him for that.

"Stay," Dean commands, still being quite stubborn. He knows what they agreed to, and he knows that Cas is straying from that agreement.

"I want to, baby," Cas promises softly, turning to kiss Dean properly. "Believe me. There's nothing I want more." He strokes the blush on Dean's cheek tenderly, and kisses Dean's forehead.

"You should've told me," Dean sighs, relaxing his grip on Cas.

Cas nuzzles his nose, then snuffles along his jaw apologetically. "I know. I thought it wouldn't make a difference. I'll be back before breakfast," he promises.

"Your mom's gonna be here later," Dean says, rubbing Cas' arm slowly. "I wanted to get you all relaxed with a blowjo–"

"Daddy?"

It's Mary. For a moment, Dean's heart stops. He looks around, but the door to their room is still shut. He finally finds her nestled between them, head pillowed on Dean’s stomach. How had he not noticed that? She's still asleep but she can't be dreaming about anything terribly pleasant going by the frown on her face.

"Did you know she was here?" Dean asks in a whisper.

Cas unfreezes, but still looks shell-shocked. He shakes his head before breaking into very un-alpha giggles.

"Stop!" Dean hisses, swatting Cas, but he's shaking in silent laughter, too. "You're gonna wake her."

Cas leans forward, kissing the laughter right out of his mouth. He reaches down to rearrange Mary properly, and she stretches in her sleep, turning to snuggle up to Dean immediately. It warms Dean's heart to see Cas smiling at them so fondly, but it doesn't last nearly long enough.

"She takes right after her gorgeous omega dad," Cas says softly, pushing her hair back from her face to reveal the smattering of soft brown freckles along her cheek. She'd gone swimming with her class for the first time a few days ago.

Dean kisses the top of her head and sighs. "She's gonna break so many hearts."

"Yes," Cas agrees with a wistful smile. A few moments later he sighs, looking remorseful. "I’m gonna be late." He kisses Dean again, and crawls out of bed unhindered.

"Go." Dean huffs, pushing himself up on an elbow. "We'll be here when you get back."

"Promise?" Cas asks with wide-eyed innocence, and Dean sits up to kiss him again.  

 

 

 

Cas is late.

Or rather, Hester is earlier than expected. Dean can hardly believe the sight in front of him. If his eyes aren't deceiving him, Hester is actually sitting on the floor, helping Mary put together a puzzle. Oh, and incidentally, the puzzle is this monstrous, gorgeous, expensive present from Hester. Mary's beside herself with joy (which only makes Dean’s life harder if this all goes pear-shaped), and hell must've frozen over because Hester is actually smiling.

And Cas is not even here. Cas is missing all this. It's killing Dean a little.

"... Dean?"

"Hm?" Dean looks up from his phone because Cas still hasn't texted back. "Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Novak."

"It's alright," Hester says. "And you don't have to do that anymore. Call me Hester, please."

Dean stares at her. "... Okay."

"Would it be alright for me to bring Mary some juice?" she continues, as though Dean isn't staring at her like she just sprouted a second head. "I'm not sure what your policy is on her sugar intake, or if she has any allergies."

"I'll bring it to her," Dean says, but Hester stops him.

"Please. I want to do it. Let me," she insists, looking pleased with herself. The doorbell rings, and her face lights up with a smile. "That must be Castiel. I'll get it."

Dean stands, feeling awkward. He doesn't quite know what to do with his hands when Hester frogmarches a bewildered Cas into the living room.

"... Hope you didn't have a rough morning. Dean has been holding the fort down admirably," Hester says, letting go of Cas to smile at Dean.

Cas looks at her balefully, but Hester just continues to smile at Mary. It's all too strange. It's exact opposite of the way she'd been, and Dean finds he's struggling to keep up with the swing in temperament. Maybe it's Opposite Day. Cas looks like he's struggling too, so there's that. Before either of them can say a word, Mary jumps up with a squeal of, "Dad!" She nearly upends the puzzle she'd been working on with Hester. Dean winces, anticipating Hester's wrath, but Hester just smiles as Cas catches Mary in his arms.

"Hey, munchkin," he greets, grinning as Mary scents him. Dean relaxes marginally at the familiar sight, but tenses when he sees Hester head over to Claire's swing. Almost immediately Claire lets out a cranky wail, flapping her arms as she scrunches her face up. She’s preparing for a tantrum.

"I thought I smelled a dirty diaper," Hester says cheerfully. "Dean, would you mind if I changed her?"

"Uhhh," Dean glances at Cas uncertainly, but Cas looks like he's at a loss for words, too. "Let me show you where we keep the stuff," he offers, deciding to compromise and meet Hester's efforts halfway. Even though it's fucking bizarre, she does seem to be trying. He leads up the stairs to the nursery, and Cas trails behind after Mary goes back to her puzzle.

"Where were you?" Dean demands in a whisper as they watch Hester change Claire’s diaper from the threshold. They both grimace at the smell. Dean supposes there’s no getting used to it.

Cas has the grace to look embarrassed. "I forgot my keys and phone at home. I'm sorry."

He pauses when Hester blows a raspberry on Claire's tummy, and Claire responds with shrill giggles.

"What's happening?" he asks, looking as confused as Dean feels.

"I think your mom's high," Dean says, nodding to himself. "Or she’s been replaced by a pod person. She has enough money to buy a clone, right? It's the only logical explanation."

Cas looks dubious.

"Do the girls share this room?" Hester asks suddenly, causing both Dean and Cas to jump slightly in surprise.

"Yes," Cas says, hunching his shoulders defensively.

"That's smart," Hester says, and Dean raises a wary eyebrow at her. "I truly believe that. They'll bond better. Castiel shared a room with Gabriel as a child, and look at them now." Dean bites his cheek so he won’t make a sarcastic remark, but Cas snorts. Hester ignores him. "As they grow older, however, they'll want their privacy," she adds, and that sounds more like the Hester they've come to know. "And perhaps you'll have more children."

"We're happy with our home," Cas says stiffly, crossing his arms. "And we're selling my old house, so–"

"Ah yes, I've heard all about that," Hester interrupts, sanitizing her hands before she picks up a freshly diapered Claire. "I know you two don't trust me, but I would love to help."

"How?" Dean asks. "We've already got a realtor. You gonna tell us she's no good?"

Traitorously, Claire seems to love her grandmother, if the way she exuberantly giggles and sniffs at Hester is any indication. Dean watches the entire thing balefully, but has to concede that if his puppy sees something good in Hester, she can't be all bad.

Hester presses her lips together. "Actually, I was going to suggest lending you my personal secretary, Rachel. She's unparalleled when it comes to legalese. I have some experience in the field, so I know there's no substitute for someone who knows their way around this, and is on your side. And I promise you, Rachel is my most trusted confidant." She starts to look irritated when there's no positive answer forthcoming, but visibly calms herself and pleads, "Just talk to her. And if you don't like her, I won't bring it up again."

Cas looks torn, but Dean knows they're well and truly stuck. Hester's being reasonable, so there's no real reason to say no. They could be petty and refuse, but where’s the sense in that? They haven’t been having much luck, and they need all the help they can get.

"Alright," Cas agrees eventually, and he reaches out to take Dean's hand in his. "Have her call me."

Hester beams.

 

 

 

After that Hester starts to become an almost permanent fixture at home. Dean finds it a little unnerving that he forgets she's there, only to turn around and find her handing him the spatula he'd asked for. Or helping Mary with her homework. Or feeding Claire from a bottle. Or playing with Buddy. Or cleaning the freaking living room and making herself at home. When she learns that Ellen watches Claire for their morning runs, she wants in on that as well.

Oh, and what's worse is that Rachel is annoyingly helpful. It's not that Pamela wasn't good at finding buyers, but Rachel is better at vetting them, and getting the process going. Rachel and Pamela get along and work together swiftly, which is just as well, because Dean hates all the work involved in selling. Within the week they put on the first of a series of open houses, and about a month later, magically, the place is sold. It’s a little too magical, but Dean had stepped out from the whole thing, and is only peripherally aware of the details.

Later, Cas confides that it went for considerably more than he had bought it. From the sound of it, Dean’s fairly sure Hester had a hand in it, because no house sells that fast. Even just the names of the buyers, a couple, Abner and Gadreel Richmond, sound like people Hester probably knew. Or made up. Still, Dean can’t really prove it, and he’s honestly glad to be rid of the burden, so he doesn’t make an issue.

Everything's going well. It's almost too good to be true.

Except for that tiny little part where Cas starts to pick up more shifts at work. This has the unfortunate side effect of Dean spending quality alone time with Hester more often than not. And he most definitely never signed up for that. Hester doesn't seem to mind or notice because she's there. All. The. Time.

"So, when are you two getting married?" Hester asks one afternoon, and Dean almost chokes on his noodles.

"Uh," Dean says, hating that he seems to forget every other word in existence around Hester. "Sometime in the future. We haven't really discussed it."

"You should," Hester replies, polishing her orange chicken off quickly and neatly.

"Why?" Dean frowns, looking at her. "We're already mated, and we know we're in it together for the long haul."

Hester sighs, and there it is. She looks at him like he's stupid and Dean has to fight to control his temper. "That's very romantic," she says, somewhat sarcastic. "But you're forgetting the other benefits of being married, and I'm not just talking about finances. What if, for instance, something happens, and Castiel is gravely injured? He's in the hospital. You're not married, so there is no proof of your status. They won't allow you to see him. Bites, however many you have, can and have been faked. There's no way to verify a mating. It’s not irrefutable proof. It’s why marriage exists."

Dean's a little stunned by the realization. For a moment, he sits there, processing it. And then the worry starts to gnaw at his chest. Goddamn it, she's getting in his head far too easily.

"That and prenups," he points out when he finds his voice.

"I'm not going to play the part of your evil mother-in-law, Dean," Hester says with a tired sigh. "You may as well stop expecting it. There are, of course, many other similar benefits to being married. While we're at it, I think Castiel should officially adopt Mary," she continues matter-of-factly, as though Dean's not having an internal crisis.

"Wait, what?"

"I don't want either of you to lose what you have, Dean," Hester says, with surprising patience. "Protecting against worst case scenarios is what I do for living. I'm not saying terrible things are going to happen, but it's better to be prepared and safe."

Hackles raised, Dean's tempted to bite back and demand where she'd been when Cas needed to be kept safe, but he doesn't. Instead he asks, "Why aren't you telling Cas all this?"

"He doesn't trust me yet," Hester replies, shrugging.

"What makes you think I do?"

Hurt flashes across Hester's features for a moment before she schools her expression into something carefully blank. She shrugs again, and Dean feels a little bad for how harsh he's being. Hester has been nothing but helpful for weeks now. And she hasn't asked for anything in return. She hasn't pressed Cas to change jobs, and even now, she's not pressing for Cas' marriage to someone else. She's just trying to help, in her own way. It really doesn’t help that she reminds him of Cas so much, and where Cas is concerned, Dean has an enormous soft spot just waiting to be exploited.

"We'll talk about it," Dean says grudgingly, wishing that Cas was home instead of at work. "You have a point. Especially about Mary."

Hester nods. "Think about it. And don't take my word for it. Do your own research, Dean. You'll find I haven't led you astray. All I want is my son's happiness."  

 

 

 

It's been a week, and Dean's stewed in worry. There hasn't been much time to talk to Cas privately. Between the pups, Cas' increasingly hectic work schedule, and the fact that Hester has practically moved in, Dean's lucky he gets to kiss Cas goodbye in the mornings. It really doesn't help that he's been reading up about all the stuff he and Cas are missing out by not being married. And of course, the nightmarish situation Hester put in his head of not being able to see Cas if an accident occurred keeps Dean worried more than he cares to admit.

It’s late one evening when it all comes to a head. He's getting ready for bed when Cas comes up behind him and winds one hand in Dean's hair. He tugs until Dean bares his neck, and goes right in to scent and nuzzle at the bite. Dean shivers through it, but he's not easily distracted.

"Hello, Dean," Cas says softly, mouthing at the edge of the sensitive scar tissue. "I missed you."

The day has been long, to say the least. Aside from the usual stresses of rearing two pups and keeping the household running, Dean had gotten into a heated argument with Hester over the pups’ schooling. He wouldn’t normally have risen to the bait, but it’s been weeks of Cas ditching him to deal with Hester. In fact, Cas works pretty much round the clock now. It's not like Dean hasn't noticed. It's impossible not to notice, but he’s tried to be patient about it.

He knows that some part of it is Cas putting off things with Hester, but he’d hoped Cas would eventually come around. Of course, it could just be that the bakery is swamped with orders. Maybe Cas will come out and admit he's getting caught up in work, or that he wants to go back for good.

Either way, Dean would like a little heads up.

"What's wrong?" Cas asks when Dean doesn’t reply right away. He snuffles at Dean's jaw, scenting him in concern.

Dean shrugs him off and pulls on a sleep t-shirt.

"Dean..." Cas says helplessly. He follows Dean to bed, and sits on the edge of Dean's side. "I'm really tired, so could you just tell me-"

"Have you seen Claire at all today?" Dean asks sharply, and Cas goes completely still. "You still remember you had a pup with me, don't you? It was about, oh, seven months ago." He kind of already hates the way he’s going about this, but he’s pissed off, dammit. If Cas can run away from his problems, then Dean can be a petty drama queen every now and then.

Cas goes stoic. "I know I've been working a lot. I just thought..."

"What?" Dean demands, all the worry and built up irritation exploding. "You'd go back to work and it wouldn't make a difference? And why are you the only one that gets to do that? Bobby had jobs for me that I gave up to be at home because you wanted me to stay. We agreed to both go back to work part time, but now you're the only one working. If this is some sexist alpha shit 'cuz you're too good for–"

"I bought a ring," Cas snaps, looking both wounded and angry.

"What?"

So much for waiting for Cas to admit it. Instead of answering, Cas gets up and heads over to their closet. Dean's still confused, but he gets this sinking feeling of dread with every passing second. It's entirely likely he's been an asshole. By the time Cas walks back with the tiny jewelry box enclosed in his hand, Dean knows. Yup, Grade A asshole.

Cas hangs his head and admits, "It was an impulsive buy. I had to pay for it. I couldn't just take the money from the sale of the house, and I couldn't let you pay for it. I know I should've talked to you first, but I saw it, and it was perfect. And you always manage to pull the best surprises. I wanted to–"

Dean shuts him up with a kiss. It takes Cas a moment to realize, and then he's kissing back just as fervently. "Oh god, Cas," Dean sighs, pressing their foreheads together. "Has your mom been talking to you?"

"Yes," Cas admits, tensing slightly.

"She's such a meddler," Dean huffs in exasperation. "She went after me about how I couldn't see you if something terrible happened to you 'cuz we're only mated, and it's been bothering me all week."

"I'm sorry," Cas says, wrapping his arms around Dean and somehow managing to crawl into bed and cuddle up to him in one fluid move. "I shouldn't have left you to handle her alone. She's supposed to be bonding with me, but instead you've been babysitting her."

"It's fine," Dean dismisses, carding a hand through Cas' hair.

"It's not," Cas insists earnestly. "I've been hiding behind work. I'm afraid of facing her. Dealing with my feelings. All that stuff I barely got over? The nightmares? It's all gonna come back up, and I don't want to go through it again."

Dean presses his lips to Cas' forehead, waiting until Cas relaxes. "I get it. And I know I can't fully protect you from that. But, I promise you're not gonna have to do it alone. You take as long as you need to, alright? I'm with you, every step of the way."

Cas nods. "I'm gonna talk to her. Really talk to her."

"Okay," Dean says, resting his chin on top of Cas' head. Cas touches Dean's belly hesitantly, and when Dean doesn't tense up or push him away, he tugs the shirt up and flattens his palm against the softness.

"How are our puppies?" Cas asks, tracing a stretch mark with his thumb.

"Good. Mary threw a little tantrum. You know how she gets when she's tired."

"Cranky," Cas says, smiling softly. "I brought cupcakes. They're in the fridge."

Dean smiles back. "You're spoiling her," he jokes. "Oh. Claire ate some avocado today and loved it, which kinda pisses me off 'cuz it means your mom was right."

Cas laughs softly. "She says those were my favorite. Avocados."

"Yeah. You're still pretty fond of them."

They’re silent for a few moments. Dean rubs slow circles along Cas’ back, but he can sense the stress that stiffens Cas’ shoulders. He doesn’t need to look to know that Cas is frowning. Before he can broach the subject, Cas sits up a little.

"Thank you," he whispers, clinging to Dean’s middle. "What would I do without you?"

"Probably be celibate," Dean quips, and just like the tension dissipates. Cas chuckles, swatting him gently. "I love you, too." He pauses, growing serious as he toys with the hem of Dean’s shirt. "Listen, Dean, if you want to go back to work, I’m not stopping you. I only objected at the time because I felt you needed more time to recover, but in the end, you’re the best judge. If you want to go to work, I can cut back, or take Claire with me and watch her during the day."

Dean’s a little surprised that Cas had paid attention to that part of his silly blow-up, but honestly, it’s one of the things he loves the most about Cas. With anyone else, this conversation would’ve been a disaster. "We’ll figure it out in the morning," he decides, kissing the top of Cas’ head.

"Okay," Cas agrees, reaching over Dean to turn the lights off.

"Oh, and Cas?" Even in the gloom, Dean can make out the way Cas tenses.

"Yes, Dean?"

"Love you," he murmurs, pressing Cas onto his back and turning to curl into Cas’ side. "And I'm glad you're," he hesitates, and then loses his nerve. "Y’know. Here."

Cas doesn’t reply, but he doesn’t have to. The way he gathers Dean close and holds him is all the answer Dean needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys were so warm and wonderful and positive and supportive after I posted the previous chapter. It honestly took me by surprise, and reassured me so much. I can't begin to explain how much it means to me, so I just want to say thank you so much!


	5. Chapter 5

Dean's marked the calendar on his phone, so unless they've invented some kind of alpha rut suppressant, or Cas is on some experimental treatment, Cas is late. Which isn't unheard of, but the implications aren't encouraging. Stress. Age. Come to think of it, Dean has been seeing a couple greys in Cas' hair. Away from the temples though, so fortunately it hasn't caused a midlife crisis. Actually, Dean's not sure Cas would go that route.

"What are you worrying about?" Cas asks over his shoulder, from the counter, where he's putting together ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch.

"It's nothing." Dean shakes his head and stays pressed against the fridge, munching despondently on the apple Cas had generously sliced for him. He’d rather be eating apple pie, but at least he’s got a snack while he’s waiting. Plus, it's a nice vantage point.

Cas stops mid-task and raises an eyebrow before turning around to walk over predatorily. By the time he traps Dean against the fridge, Dean has to fight a smile.

"I don't blame you for getting distracted by my ass," Cas murmurs, pressing into a kiss that Dean happily returns with a chuckle. "I love that I can still capture your attention."

Dean's still smiling too wide to properly kiss back the second time, but before he can gather himself to reciprocate, a cough from the living room startles them apart. Hester. Dean feels that residual knee-jerk resentment for her, but Cas blushes, and that’s pretty adorable.

"You can cook?" Hester asks, visibly impressed. "Well," Cas rubs the back of his neck self-consciously.

"It's hardly cooking. I'm just assembling a sandwich."

... Assembling a sandwich. Dean has a sudden coughing fit that has nothing to do with laughter. And his so-called ‘loving’ mate just shoots him a playful glare.

"Your father couldn't peel an orange without help," Hester sniffs, but she turns her attention on Dean pretty quickly. "You look troubled, Dean."

Predictably, Dean falls back on his tried and trusted response of, "Uh."

"That is his troubled face, yes," Cas agrees mildly, and Dean splutters in indignation. Cas agreeing with mom was a good thing, sure. If it meant Dean was the butt of the joke every now and then, well, Dean would tolerate it for about thirty seconds. For Cas. No one said anything about him having to tolerate it pleasantly.

"I don't have enough coffee in me for this conversation," Dean grumbles, nursing his cup of apple slices.

Cas laughs, but it's not unkind. "I’m still on your side. Don't start pouting," he cajoles, cupping Dean's cheek and pulling him in for a kiss.

Dean tenses because Cas' conservative mom (who, by the way, hates Dean) is right there. In the same room. Watching them. Despite his reservations, Dean relaxes when Cas cups his cheek. Hester clears her throat again, and Cas pulls away with a sigh.

"Yes, mother?" he asks, not bothering to hide his annoyance at being interrupted.

To Hester’s credit, she’s been refining her approach to rebuilding her relationship with her son. It’s been a few weeks of relative peace with her. A while ago Cas mentioned that she ordered something like three hundred cupcakes for a colleague’s retirement party. After that, she’s put her company and friends onto Charlie’s bakery, so business is pretty much booming. Which means Cas’ workload has gone up, and he gets a cut as commission. The way Dean sees it, Hester is pretty much giving them money now. Which would be more uncomfortable if she wasn't so smart about it. More importantly, Hester is in their home less often. She helps out when she can, but there’s fewer and fewer surprise visits.

She gives Cas a disapproving look, and says, "I’m here about scheduling."

"What?" Cas frowns. "The last order we got was the croissants for some breakfast meeting, and we sent those out on time."

"I’m not talking about the bakery, Castiel," Hester sighs, rolling her eyes. "This is about something much more important," she pauses meaningfully, "your rut."

Dean almost chokes on a slice of apple. "There goes my appetite."

"Don’t be so dramatic, Dean," Hester says imperiously. "We’re all adults here. I want to make sure I’m available to take care of the grandchildren for you."

Cas is busy blushing profusely and looking embarrassed, so Dean shrugs. "I dunno, it’s just. You don’t. Y’know?"

"Don’t what?" Hester asks, cocking her head. "Talk about it?" Dammit. There’s the resemblance she shares with Cas. The blue eyes, the dour frown. It’s just uncanny, and it only unsettles Dean even more.

"Yeah," Dean says helplessly. And really, Dean’s problem is that apparently he and Cas’ mom were thinking about the same thing. Which is. No. Dean’s not even gonna. Nope.

"That’s stupid."

"Mother," Cas butts in before things can devolve further. "I should be taking time off any day now. So, if you could be here for about three days, that would be helpful."

"Wait, she’s staying here?" Dean asks, caught off-guard by this turn of events.

"I was… texting Castiel," Hester says, sounding distinctly uncertain about the validity of their means of communication. "And we decided it would be for the best if the pups stayed here, and the two of you stayed in my house. I live about a fifteen minutes away, so you can come back and check on them whenever you like."

Dean crosses his arms and frowns, trying not to feel defensive.

"It’s not decided," Cas says quickly, squeezing Dean’s shoulder. "It was a suggestion."

"Whatever." Dean shrugs Cas off, getting annoyed despite himself. He doesn’t need placating, and he doesn't really want to get between Cas and Hester. "Clearly you two have this figured out."

Dean’s not even really sure why he’s mad, but he's not gonna sit and examine that now. It’s a great solution. The pups won’t have their routine upset, or their environment changed, and someone will be there to watch Buddy as well. It’s probably just that he’d have to call and cancel with Ellen. No, it’s not really that either. It's that Hester is settling into their lives.

 

Which is what they'd been going for. So why can't he just shut up and be happy about it?

 

 

 

Dean wakes up to the best scent in the world. His alpha mate on the cusp of a rut.

He’s been kind of stupid the last few days. This is the longest non-fight they’ve had, mostly because Dean fled every conversation. He wonders how this must look to Cas. Maybe Cas feels like Dean is jealous of the fact that Cas now has a mother in the picture. A mother Cas can start to have a relationship with.

In a way, Dean knows that can’t be true. He’s not jealous. It’s hard to be happy for Cas in that aspect because Hester is… complicated. She hasn’t really apologized – or tried to – for abandoning her sons. A tension exists in the spaces between them every time she’s in the room. There are so many things Cas still struggles to bring up and go through. As time passes, Dean begins to suspect that Hester is entirely clueless about the abusive nature of her brother, and his wife.

His train of thought is abruptly interrupted by the erection rubbing against his ass. A moment later, Cas reaches over, grabs Dean’s thigh, and jacks his legs open. Dean keeps his eyes closed as Cas manhandles him half onto his back, and slots in place at his side. Cas sighs in relief as his cock slides in between Dean’s legs. He presses his forehead to Dean’s cheek, and his breath puffs hot against Dean’s throat.

"Dean," Cas says plaintively, voice rough with sleep and strained with need. He moans as he rubs himself against Dean, a filthy, hungry sound. "You smell amazing. Like heaven. My own personal heaven."

As if to demonstrate how appetizing he thinks Dean is, Cas tugs the neck of Dean's shirt lower and chomps down on Dean’s shoulder. Well, it’s more of a nip, but Cas goes about it sloppily enough that Dean starts to wonder if maybe cannibalism runs in the family. Claire’s got a fairly strong bite, too. And Dean would know.

"I know," Dean murmurs sleepily, half-joking and pawing at Cas' face until he backs off a little.

They share a look– Cas sharp and wide awake despite the faint pink sleep lines on his cheek, his eyes dark. He wets his lower lip, and Dean sighs as he sinks into a kiss. Cas’ erection slides between Dean’s legs, rocking lazily as Cas presses closer, teasing Dean’s lips open and sucking on the soft bow of the lower lip.

"Cas," Dean starts when they part for a short breath, but Cas cuts him off with a growl.

"Take it off." Cas snakes a hand under Dean’s sleep shirt, and Dean shivers despite himself.

"I shouldn't. Babe, we gotta go–"

Cas shuts him up with a hard kiss. "I know," he pants, lips brushing over Dean’s even as Dean tries to lean up for another kiss. "Five minutes." He hoists himself up to straddle Dean, and presses Dean’s hands above his head as he dips in for another kiss. "Let me enjoy you in our bed for five minutes before you cart me off." His thumb rubs along the pulse at Dean’s wrist, making it jump, and he drags his lips along Dean’s jaw to bury his nose in Dean’s neck. "I won’t knot you now but I want to scent you here, where you still smell like my mate, my omega."

Dean relents. It’s a reasonable request. He bares his neck, shivering when Cas responds with a pleased rumble reverberates through him.

"So gorgeous, so sweet Dean," Cas blabbers, mouthing wetly at the mating bite on Dean’s neck, cock hot and heavy where it rests against Dean’s thigh. "Love you like this–"

Dean winds a hand in Cas’ hair, tightening his grip. It’s already starting to affect him. He presses his lips together and forces himself to breathe evenly. But he can’t help nuzzling at Cas’ sweaty temple, and he definitely can’t help spreading his legs a little eagerly.

No, one of them has to keep their head about them. Dean has to think of the pups and he’s got to insist on restraint because Cas won’t be able to right now.

"Cas," he manages, strained. "Just gimme a minute, I need to call your mom."

"Call Ellen," Cas growls, back to snuffling along Dean's jaw. His breath is practically steamy, like there's embers inside him being stoked to a fire. Dean sits up with some effort, and Cas finally relents with a growl. Seizing the opening, Dean rolls away, getting to his feet even as Cas makes a grab for him, and (fortunately) misses.

"I'm calling your mom," he says firmly. "And then I'm driving us to her place."

That makes Cas stop. "I thought you didn't want to do that."

"Never said that," Dean shrugs, unplugging his phone from the charger, and scrolling for Hester's number. "Would've liked being included in the decision, that's all– hey, yes, um hello. Uh, Mrs– Hester. It's Dean. Winchester," he says awkwardly, when Hester answers within the first ring. Cas watches him hungrily from the bed. It's a little disconcerting considering Dean's talking to Cas' mom. Dean licks his lips and looks away, because clearly he’s a lost cause.

"Yes. Good morning, Dean. I can be there in twenty minutes," Hester says without preamble.

"How did you–"

"It was obvious," she says primly. "We're wasting time. Make Castiel take a cold shower if he's too far along. I'll see you soon."

"Okay, thanks," Dean starts to say, but she's already hung up. He looks at Cas incredulously and asks, "Can you believe that?"

Cas has other priorities now. He's palming himself through his boxers, and giving Dean the smolder. "Are you coming back to bed?"

While that is very tempting offer, Dean’s not into exhibitionism. Certainly not if Hester’s going to be their audience. And if he goes back to bed, he knows they won’t finish before she gets here. He shakes his head and walks out of the room, blissfully unaware of the way Cas lunges after him.  

 

 

 

Honestly, Dean has no idea how they made it out to Hester’s place.

The entire drive, Cas had latched onto him hungrily, kissing and mouthing at his neck. The mating bite on Dean’s neck swells and gets oversensitive from the attention, and Dean squirms through the onslaught of arousal. You'd think that Cas, a seasoned alpha, who's been through many moons of rut cycles, wouldn't fall prey to it like he's high off of catnip, but nope. Every single time. Without fail.

Dean doesn't have time to take in Hester’s palatial house because it's either get arrested for public indecency while he's admiring the landscaping or get indoors before Cas rips his clothes off. They make it to the master bedroom upstairs somehow. Dean's not really sure how. And then Dean stops resisting.

It's kind of a thrill to see Cas let go and give into instinct. The alpha takes over, and it's almost a visible transformation. Cas’ eyes take on a sharp wildness, and then everything about him is this gorgeous, feral creature. It makes Dean's heart leap to his throat every time. Even though Dean knows how this usually goes, it steals his breath away. Cas pounces and takes him down on the mattress, and from there it's a frenetic blur of sweat and tears and come. The first round is always intense, brutally hard and fast and powerful. Dean lets himself be consumed by it, revels in the way that Cas’ body takes what it needs, crescendos and collapses.

And now, Cas mouths at a spot on Dean's back between his shoulder blades.

"... Wish it was always my rut," he murmurs, and Dean huffs in amusement. "I'm serious," Cas insists, winding a hand in Dean's hair and tugging. "I know it’s selfish but I want my omega waiting, sweet hole wet and open for me."

"I know you do. It's a nice fantasy, but try to get some sleep, babe," Dean says, trying to turn. He sighs when Cas overpowers him and wraps his arms around him.

"My knot's going down," Cas whines. "I'm hot and uncomfortable."

"Thank god," Dean murmurs, feeling a little bad for Cas. "I gotta pee."

"Come back soon," Cas mumbles, reluctantly letting go when his knot slips free. They both shiver uncomfortably and grimace because that particular feeling is not the most pleasant.

Dean knows how important it is to hold Cas through all this. He turns to kiss Cas reassuringly, and rolls out of bed. "I'll be right back," he promises. His ass is sore, but he forces himself to walk straight to the bathroom. Once he shuts the door behind him, he allows himself to hobble and wince. It’s not that he’s in pain, he’s just sore everywhere. There’s muscles Dean didn’t know existed protesting from overuse. There’s also the fact that they haven't really had the time to be intimate in a while. There's bruises in the shape of Cas' fingerprints already forming at his hips. And there's the litter of hickeys along his shoulders. Dean feels smug about wearing them.

Once he's done attending to nature's call and cleaned himself up, Dean takes in the bathroom. It's huge. Dean's fairly sure this bathroom is bigger than their bedroom back home. The floors, counter tops, and the walls about halfway up are a smooth, cool grey granite. It would be a little gloom and doom, but about halfway up, the walls are a soft, buttery white. One section of the ceiling breaks abruptly and slopes towards the outer walls of the house. There's a sun roof made of semi-opaque glass cubes. Light streams in through it onto a generous bath tub. Next to it is one of those showers with a sliding door, and in the far corner is the toilet. Dean has to admit that Hester has taste. He kinda hates how much he likes this stupid bathroom.

And that's when he notices the other door in the bathroom. He grabs a robe off the hook on the back of the door and wraps himself up before he opens it. This isn't his house. Who knew if Hester had cameras and stuff? He wasn't gonna walk around naked.

So that’s how he finds out that there's another room connected to the bathroom. It's carpeted in the same off-white, and Dean bites his lip because it's beautiful. It's spacious with a row of huge windows on the far wall that overlook the backyard. It's too easy to picture this as Claire's nursery. Once he allows himself to have the thought, Dean knows he's doomed. He sucks in a sharp breath and heads back out to the bathroom.

"I thought we agreed you were going to stay naked," Cas teases. Dean must not smile quickly enough, because Cas' face falls, and he frowns in concern. "What's wrong?"

Dean groans and flops down on the bed, ending up half on top of Cas. "Nothing," he says, burying his face in Cas' chest, secretly pleased that Cas immediately wraps him up in his arms. "I just need to figure it out. Then I'll tell you."

"Okay," Cas agrees, kissing the top of Dean’s head. "In the meanwhile, are you hungry?"

Dean considers it for a moment. "I could eat, yeah."

"Good. Me too." Cas grabs a robe as well and leads the way down to the kitchen.

And Dean's distraught to find he loves that, too. The center island is perfect. It solves the problem of having to go back and forth between a kitchen table and the stove during breakfast, which usually tends to be pretty hectic. Cas loves it too, but for different reasons. Dean turns his back for one second to grab something from an overhead shelf, and the next thing he knows, he's got a hungry, horny alpha pressed up against his back, convincing him that it's a good idea to christen the countertops.


	6. Chapter 6

Cas is uncharacteristically quiet on the drive back home.

"You okay?" Dean asks cautiously, reaching out to rest his hand on Cas' knee. He doesn’t want to admit it, but he loves the post-rut cuddles. Cas is very loving and generous throughout his rut, and well after it, and Dean's a little spoiled. Okay, a lot spoiled. It’s not just that, though. Dean’s honestly concerned.

Cas jerks out of his reverie. "Yeah," he sighs, sounding anything but okay. He rests his hand on top of Dean's, and starts to trace Dean's knuckles with his thumb. "I was just thinking about the house. Did you like it?"

"Yeah, it was alright," Dean shrugs, trying for nonchalant, but struggling.

Cas gives him that million mile stare, like he can see through Dean's skin and look into his soul. "I loved it," he says with a dreamy sigh, and Dean's heart clench painfully.

"Yeah?"

"Yes," Cas says, growing excited. "I know we were busy, but, it was wonderful. How perfect is that adjoining room for a nursery? The room beyond that would be Mary's. Even the first floor is amazing. I love that the kitchen opens out to the backyard– oh, the backyard! Buddy will love it. And the study was wonderful. Not to mention, the garage! You could separate a section of it so you can work from home, and once the kids get older, there will be room enough for more cars or– band practice! Who knows? There's a basement that we could turn into a play area. I think it's perfect." He squeezes Dean's hand and asks, "Don't you?"

"So what, you want us to move in with your mom for Buddy?" Dean asks, feigning a derisive snort. "You barely tolerate him at home."

Cas' face falls, and it kinda breaks Dean's heart. He knows he's being an asshole, but he it's too late to stop himself. Because the worst part? Is that Cas is right. The house is perfect for them. And Cas' enthusiasm is fucking infectious. Now that Cas has gone and said it, Dean feels like he can really see it too. And it's killing him, because he dreamed about all these little things, too. Putting up a swing in that backyard, or getting a trampoline. Or both. He’d even caught himself thinking of turning the study into an extra bedroom.

When they reach a stoplight a few minutes away from home, Cas breaks the uncomfortable silence between them. "Dean, I want more for us. Of course I don't want to move in with my mother. I don’t think she wants that either. I think this was part of a plan."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, that house is huge. My mother lives alone. She came down here to reconnect with me, so why would she move into a house that big?" Cas asks, chewing his lower lip. "

'Cuz she's rich?" Dean suggests, rolling his eyes.

"I think she had us stay here so we would fall in love with it," Cas says, nodding to himself.

"That's crazy, even for her." Seriously, it is. Dean can't wrap his mind around that. "What if we hated it?"

"So you do love it," Cas retorts, razor sharp.

"No," Dean snaps a little too quickly, shifting gears a little more violently than necessary when the light turns green. "It just doesn't add up. You know what I meant."

Cas crosses his arms and sets his jaw. "I think we should buy the house from her."

"Cas," Dean huffs, shaking his head in disbelief. "It's a freakin' mansion. We can't afford it."

"We've sold one house, and we can sell the one we're living in now. It’s not impossible. We could do it," Cas insists. He grabs Dean's free hand again, and squeezes it. "Just let me do the math. Just to know what we'd be looking at. We don't have to make a decision."

Dean's knuckles grow white around the steering wheel because damn if that didn't sound exactly like something Hester had said. "What happened to saving up for the kids? We'd be paying off the damn house well past our nonexistent retirements. They're gonna take one look at our ‘jobs’ and raise the interest rates through the roof and– it’s not a good idea. Your mom is playing you."

Cas goes sort of cold and raises an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

And Dean knows he should shut up, but his dumb brain decides to not send that memo to his mouth because he says, "You don't see what she's doing? With the ring, and the business she sends to the bakery, and now, this house! She's trying to upgrade you, Cas. And she knows just how to do it so you'll think it was your idea. She wants to buy her forgiveness with stuff, like it's gonna make up for all the years that she didn't give a shit."

"I don't see it that way at all," Cas insists, shaking his head. "She's trying to make amends. She can't go back in time and attend my school plays or recitals. So she supports my business, and offers romantic advice. What's wrong with that?"

Dean grits his teeth in frustration, because of course, when Cas puts it like that, he's the asshole. "Nothing."

"Then what is it? Do you hate her? Is that the problem?" Cas demands. "I really don't understand why you're fighting this so hard."

"It just seems fake, okay?" Dean says it quietly, but once the words are out, the silence that fills the car makes his ears ring. "It's too good to be true."

He pulls into their driveway right then, and Cas draws in a sharp breath. When he puts the car in park, they sit there breathing for a moment. Then Cas gets out and walks to the door without a backward glance.  

 

 

 

“Alright. I’m here! Tell Aunt Charlie what’s wrong.”

Dean rolls his eyes and rests his head on his arms with a groan. “You’re mistaking me for the alpha who tells you about our sex lives.”

“Ouch.” Charlie swats him upside the head. “What the hell, Dean?”

They’re at the Roadhouse. Dean should probably be nicer to her considering he sent out the distress call. He just couldn’t be alone at home right now. He couldn’t talk to Cas when there was this huge rift between them.

“Sorry,” he mumbles sheepishly, lifting his head and crossing his arms defensively. “It’s just… not good right now.”

Charlie fixes him with an intent look and then sighs. “Dean, honestly, with the two of you, it’s hard to tell. Sometimes it’s silly, sometimes it’s huge. It doesn’t help that you’re both a little, y’know. Excitable. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.” Dean nods, not even bothering to respond to the teasing. He bites his lip as he hesitates, and then gives in.

“So, we get home, and Cas’ mom is waiting for us. The pups love her, which just makes it all so much worse. And right in front of the kids, she says the house is a gift. Her house, which is this mansion that we stayed at for Cas’ rut. She just wants to give us this huge five-bedroom house in a swanky gated community.”

“How awful,” Charlie says dryly. “In-laws, am I right? Always babysitting for free and giving us extravagant gifts. Ugh, they’re the worst.”

“You don’t get it.” Dean runs a hand through his hair in exasperation. “She’s trying to make up for the past by buying Cas all this shit like that makes it any better. She’s trying to skate by without any consequences. It’s not fair. Cas– you don’t know what he’s been through, but it was hell. Okay? His childhood was robbed from him, and she can’t just put a house over it and make it okay.”

Charlie’s silent for a moment, thinking. Eventually she says, “Okay. I can see why you feel so strongly about this. But, I’m gonna play the devil’s advocate here. I don’t really know what Cas’ mom did or didn’t do, and I’m gonna assume the worst.” She takes a breath, and asks, “What if this is the best she can do? What if this is all she knows how to do? I mean, she can’t go back and change the past, but she can try to make amends and improve his future, can’t she?”

“It’s not good enough,” Dean growls, gritting his teeth.

“Yeah, and that’s the other thing. How is this your decision? Forgiving her, I mean.” Charlie looks at him sympathetically. She reaches out to squeeze his hand and continues, “If it’s good enough for Cas, and you can’t really prove anything shady’s going on, you’re gonna have to accept it, Dean. It’s not about you. The best you can do is be there for him if it goes belly up.”

Dean groans and drops his forehead on the table. “You’re a pain in my ass, Charlie. Why do you gotta go and make perfect sense?”

“I know,” Charlie says sagely. “It’s a gift and a burden.”

“You know what bugs me about her? This stuff? It’s charity.”

Charlie gives him a wry look. “Didn’t your dad buy your house? You know, the one you live in right now?”

Oh yeah. That’s right. It’s a staggering realization, but Dean’s pride keeps him from giving in now.

“It’s not the same thing,” he scoffs. “He went behind my back and bought it.”

“I didn’t see you in a hurry to reject that money,” Charlie points out.

Dean’s tone turns angry, biting. “He kinda died, so I couldn’t really do much about it.”

Charlie sighs in frustration. “Why does it have to be like that for Cas? Let him make up with his mom before it’s too late. It doesn’t have to be the same script.”

And yeah. Dean can’t really argue with that.

“I’m sorry,” Charlie says quietly after a few moments, probably unnerved by the way Dean’s just sitting there silently. “I know it’s not easy to look at this objectively.” Dean struggles to find the words, and then grimaces.

“Think of it as an inheritance,” Charlie suggests, trying to lighten the mood with a joke.  

“I need a drink,” Dean groans.

“I’ll get you a root beer,” Charlie offers, and Dean accepts it even though he’d rather have a beer. She gets herself a sugary cocktail, and they sit there sipping their drinks quietly for a while.

“I’m an asshole,” Dean sighs eventually. Cas was probably waiting up for him at home, handling the pups while Dean just bailed on him. It’s the height of selfishness.

Charlie frowns. “No, you’re not. You’re biased, and you screwed up, but you’re gonna go home and make it up to him, right?”

“Yeah,” Dean says sullenly, tracing a finger through the condensation collecting on his glass. Charlie reaches across the table to ruffle his hair.

“You can make this okay, Dean. It’s gonna be okay.”

Dean nods, but he doesn’t say anything. Honestly, he’s grateful for Charlie, but there’s not much more to say. He drains his glass and lets Charlie drive him home.  

 

 

 

So Dean slinks home with his tail between his legs.

For a moment, he stands in the living room, looking into the kitchen and reminisces. His first ‘date’ with Cas had been at that very table. He walks into the kitchen, brushes his fingers over the chair Cas had been sitting in, and heads to the fridge. Cas had kissed him against this fridge countless times. Dean loves this house. It’s so full of all these memories, all this happiness, all the love. He loves his home. But here’s the rub. He sees a future in that house.

“Dean.”

Dean jumps a foot.

“Cas,” he sighs, rubbing his chest. “I didn’t hear you. Thought you’d gone to bed.”

He can’t really look at Cas, so he turns and busies himself with filling a cup with water from the sink. He makes the mistake of turning to the fridge before remembering that their fridge didn’t have a fancy water-dispensing door. That was Hester’s.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Cas says, taking a step closer, but looking wary all the same.

“No, it’s alright,” Dean says, waving it away. He gulps the water down even though he’s not really thirsty.

Cas nods, then looks away. He sighs and nods to himself, like he’s making up his mind. “We need to talk,” he says.

“Okay,” Dean agrees, even though his stomach drops in dread. That sounds terrible.

“It’s not anything bad– Dean, please relax,” Cas says, and Dean swallows, trying not to feel nauseated. If it shows on his face how worried he is, then he really is a mess. Cas appears to read his mind, because he says, “I think you forget how well I know you.”

“What is it?” Dean asks, because he just really wants to get this over with.

Cas sighs again. He walks to the table and sits down in the chair Dean had brushed his fingers over. It’s Cas’ chair, really. “I think I need to tell you this so you know what I’m thinking,” he says, interlocking his fingers and resting them on the table. “I want another pup. I love our daughters more than my life, but I still really want more children. With you. Not right now, but eventually. I grew up in a huge house, and while my siblings weren’t kind to me, I think it was a result of our environment. It’s what I know. We’ve always been a big family.”

In a way, Dean supposes he knew all this, but he’s caught off guard. No, scratch that, he definitely knew this. They just spent three days drenched in hedonistic pleasure, and every time they lay tied together Cas had brought up wanting more pups. He’d rubbed Dean’s belly, and murmured sweet nothings about knocking him up again. Cas had spent hours fantasizing about pregnancy after pregnancy.

The pause makes it seem like there’s more, so Dean waits, but nearly a minute passes, and Cas doesn’t continue, so Dean says, “Okay. I think we’ve got a lot going on right now... but okay.”

“Okay,” Cas agrees, sighing like he’s relieved. “I understand if you don’t want that house, but you did want a bigger house, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Dean says quietly because that is true, and moves to sit down in the chair next to Cas. He remembers so many sleepy, kiss-interrupted conversations with Cas, daydreaming about their future.

God, this is harder than it should be.

“Alright,” Cas says, seeming emboldened by the fact that Dean has joined him at the table.

And Dean can’t really take it anymore.

“Cas, hang on,” he says, reaching out to grab his hands. “I gotta apologize, okay?” That’s pretty much all he can get out before he gets stuck. And now his eyes are watering. Great. Okay, he can do this. Dean forces himself to continue, and his voice shakes when he says, “I love you so much. Our family, the home we’ve built together– I owe you so much. You changed my life. You make me so happy. And I… I broke my promise to you,” he says, and once he says it aloud, he realizes it’s true. “I said I’d stand by you, and I’ve– I haven’t done that.”

Cas looks like he’s on the verge of tears, too. “Dean, that’s not true–”

“We’re such saps,” Dean sniffs, forcing a breath out to compose himself. “Okay. Look. If you wanna forgive your mom, and take this house, then okay. I’m with you. It is a great house. I really think that. Everything you talked about, I could see it, too. I mean, you were right. It’s perfect.”

Cas squeezes his hands, stunned. “I don’t want to make you unhappy. You don’t have to do this for me.”

“You won’t,” Dean insists. “You can’t. You make me happier than I've ever been in my life. And I’m doing this for us. I was fighting this ‘cuz of my issues, and they’re stupid–”

“They’re not stupid,” Cas says firmly.

Dean doesn’t want to argue, so he just chuckles, and it comes out all watery. Cas leans closer and presses his forehead against Dean’s temple, and just breathes for a few seconds.

“I just can’t hold all of it inside me anymore,” Cas says softly, moving one arm to sling around Dean’s shoulders and pull him closer. “The bitterness, or the resentment, or whatever it is. I don’t know what the feeling is, because I think I just accepted it a long time ago. The longer we go on, the more I feel like dredging it up and blaming my mother for her choices– it doesn’t really change anything. She might feel sorry, or bad, but it doesn’t erase the pain. It’s not revenge, or justice, or even closure. It’s enough that she’s trying to be here now. And maybe that’s not okay, but…” he trails off, shrugging. “I see her here with Claire and Mary, and it fills my heart with so much happiness.”

He sucks in a sharp breath, and Dean doesn’t have to see Cas to know he’s teared up. The salt of Cas’ tears stings his nose, and he wraps his arms around Cas’ middle. It’s hard to stay strong, but he buries his face in Cas’ neck, just holding him close. “I feel like the pups finally get to see a part of my family that’s actually here. And as close as we can get to being… good, I guess,” Cas continues. He pauses to sniff and wrap his arms around Dean, and says, “I feel like I finally brought something to the table, you know?”

“Yeah,” Dean breathes, tightening his grip on Cas. “You’re already everything we need and more, Cas. But yeah, I know.”


	7. Chapter 7

Now that they've made up, Dean should be able to but he can't fall asleep. Again. His mind is racing a mile a minute. He coaches himself to be more open and receptive but he's kinda stuck in his ways, and he knows it. Accepting the house makes him feel self-conscious and uneasy. Knowing that he's doing this for Cas makes it a little better. Reminding himself of Cas makes everything better.    
  
In the morning, when Cas' alarm blares, he slaps it off. Dean pretends to stay asleep as Cas grooms and scents him for a few minutes quietly. He hears Cas fiddle with his phone, and going by the way Cas sighs and settles down, Dean assumes Cas has called in sick. He ends up dozing off, and when he wakes up, Cas is asleep.    
  
"Where're you goin'?" Cas asks, voice rough with sleep, and Dean freezes in place.    
  
"To make breakfast," he replies, relaxing and turning towards Cas again.    
  
Cas hums. "Can you stay for a few more minutes?"   
  
And how is Dean supposed to refuse a request like that? "'Course, babe."    
  
Cas gathers him in his arms and lazily scents him, dropping kisses every so often. Dean responds in kind, snuffling at Cas' jaw and throat until it devolves into a leisurely sort of necking.    
  
"Satisfied?" he asks teasingly when Cas finally nuzzles his cheek.    
  
Cas grins sleepily at him. "Never. I always want more when it comes to you."   
  
Dean huffs in fond amusement, but quiets when Cas slides a palm down his torso to rest on top of his belly.    
  
"I want more," Cas repeats plaintively, sucking a kiss just beneath his jaw. It stokes the low warmth in Dean's belly to a heat.    
  
"Shop's closed," Dean jokes. And when Cas' face falls, he hurriedly adds, "Temporarily."   
  
But Cas doesn't laugh. "I don't know what you're thinking, and it worries me."    
  
Dean sighs, knowing he should be more openly supportive. He hasn't been forthcoming, or even helpful. He promised to stand by Cas' side, but when he's not fighting Cas, he's been useless at best. It's not that he's disinterested. He's wary, and he struggles to put his thoughts into words. But, he owes it to Cas to try. So he does.    
  
"I'm content with the way things are," Dean says eventually, and Cas sort of relaxes, so Dean knows he hasn't said the wrong thing. He traces a sleep line on Cas' cheek with his thumb and continues, "I don't really wanna rock the boat and lose it all."    
  
Cas nods and says rather reasonably, "Okay. I understand that."    
  
Dean finds the innocent look hopelessly adorable, so he smiles and kisses Cas. His heart does a silly flip when Cas squeezes him and kisses him back firmly.    
  
"But Dean, you should know that you don't have to worry. You're not going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere. I'm yours and you... well, you're my whole world." Cas smiles, beatific. "I don't care where we live as long as we're together. I'm doing this for you. I'm doing it because of you."    
  
The words weigh heavily on Dean, but he tries to appreciate the sentiment anyway.    
  
"You know I feel the same way," Dean says, pressing his forehead against Cas'. "Long as we're together I'm good."    
  
"I want to make love to you," Cas says seriously, and Dean laughs because jeez. He's never going to get used to Cas saying it like that, even though he knows Cas is serious. It's just- the words, and a lifetime of conditioning.    
  
"Yeah?" he asks lightly, thumbing Cas' lower lip.    
  
Cas growls softly and nips at his finger. "Yes." Almost as an afterthought, he adds, "Please."   
  
"We'll try to squeeze in some time when Claire naps in the afternoon. How's that sound?"    
  
"It sounds like... afternoon delight," Cas says solemnly.    
  
It surprises a laugh out of Dean. And it really feels good. He throws his head back and slings a leg over Cas' hips and everything. "Yeah," he says, and Cas looks pleased with himself. "That's right."    
  
Maybe things are back to normal, Dean decides, allowing himself to really relax. Cas tackles him into a kiss playfully, and Dean's smiling too hard to kiss back properly, but it's the best he's felt in ages. 

 

 

  
  
"Whose name is the house in?" Cas asks coolly, like it's no big deal.   
  
So this is officially a really awkward conversation that Dean doesn't want to be a part of, but he made a stupid promise or something. After talking it over with Cas, Dean agreed that it would be stupid to dismiss the offer without even knowing what it really entailed. So that's why they're sitting in the living room having this weird negotiation. The question feels a little ungrateful and insolent, and Dean expects Hester to get annoyed. She just looks impressed.    
  
"Yours," she says, just as coolly, and takes a sip of the tea Dean brought her.    
  
"And Dean's," Cas adds, tone brooking no argument. 

Dean feels a little surge of fondness and pride. He doesn't have any particular need for the house to be in his name. After all, Cas has been living here, and his name isn't on the papers. Besides, omegas and owning property tend to not run in the same circles, so Dean expects Hester (an omega herself) to fight it like a hypocrite.    
  
Instead, Hester only hesitates. "Okay."     
  
"What's in it for you?" Cas asks, and Dean tenses and shrinks into Cas' side because this is it. This is the deal-breaker.    
  
"I want a bedroom on the first floor," Hester replies. "For when I visit."    
  
Cas narrows his eyes and asks, "What else?"    
  
Again, Hester hesitates, but comes out with it a moment later. "Proof. Get married, and the house is yours. That's my only condition."   
  
Cas leans back, and wraps his arm around Dean's shoulders. It's an alpha move, almost a power move, but Dean happily leans in to help Cas feel bigger or stronger or whatever. Hester looks less impressed, but Dean doesn't care.    
  
"That's gonna take a while," Dean blurts, and then feels stupid for ruining this ice cold businesslike thing that was going on between Cas and his mom. And it kinda sucks, because Dean usually doesn't care about running his dumb mouth. He doesn't feel the need to sit there, keep his mouth shut and look pretty like an air headed omega, but here he is. When they rehearsed this Cas hadn't made it seem like Dean was excluded from the talking, but Dean doesn't want to undermine Cas right now.    
  
Cas squeezes his shoulder reassuringly. "I agree with Dean."    
  
"I'm patient," Hester says dryly, and sits up. "I have some news, actually. I'll be returning to HQ for a month. Certain matters need my attention, and I have put them off long enough. I'm sure I know your answer, but I'd be remiss if I didn't ask if you'd like to join me, Castiel. I think it would be interesting for you to see your father's company."    
  
Dean feels a stab of worry. He doesn't want to stop Cas, but a month is a long time. It's not that he can't look after the pups by himself. He's done it before with Mary. And he has no idea how far away this mysterious company is anyway. Traveling with two young pups alone is challenging at best. If Hester manages to tempt Cas, there wouldn't be much Dean could do about it. Even as he thinks it, Dean scolds himself. He should have more faith in Cas.    
  
"Thank you, mother," Cas says, smiling softly. "Your presumption was correct. We have no interest in leaving Lawrence. And certainly not for that long when there are two young pups to look after. While I'm sure Dean will be fine, I can't tolerate being away from him and the pups for very long. In fact, one of the only reasons we're considering the house is because Mary can continue at her current school. I will not uproot her entire life at such a young age."    
  
Honestly, Dean's a little stunned. He hadn't thought about the location of the house, and what it would mean, but apparently Cas had all their bases covered. It warms his heart to know that Cas is looking out for them. Cas cares about their family. And Dean uses the bare minimum of brain cells to get through the day.    
  
Cas' words appear to have an equal impact on Hester, who looks visibly upset before she composes herself.    
  
"I think," she says carefully. "In the future, we will have a lot of time to discuss things. There is much I have to tell you. And there is so much I want to hear from you, Castiel."   
  
With surprising calm, Cas says, "Yes. I feel the same way."    
  
Dean squeezes their joined hands and leans closer still, offering silent moral support.    
  
"Goodbye Castiel," Hester says, getting to her feet. "For now," she adds, and stands there awkwardly until Dean tugs Cas to his feet and bumps his shoulder gently.    
  
When they hug Dean feels his throat close up. It's a really awkward, stiff hug, and Hester pats Cas' back erratically, but Dean bets it feels better than it looks. He couldn’t have predicted that such a moment would come to pass. And yet it's happening. And Dean wants Cas to take the best of it.    
  
"We'll see you soon," Cas says, stepping back.    
  
"But not too soon," Dean jokes, and he knows as soon as it leaves his mouth that it's bad timing. Cas' lips twitch and Hester goes kinda cold. It's probably why Dean doesn't get a hug. And honestly, Dean's a little glad. He doesn't think he and Hester are there yet.    
  
"May I speak to my granddaughters while I'm away?" she asks, and Dean nods.    
  
Mary likes her grandma. Dean's not gonna just act like Hester doesn't exist because he's not her biggest fan. There are other people in his family who need her, for whatever reason, and that's fine.    
  
"Thank you," she says fervently, and Dean’s actually a little taken aback by the emotion in her voice.    
  
Cas grips his hand as they walk her to the door. When she gets into her sleek black car, she waves. Cas waves back, and then brings Dean's hand up to his chest. They stay at the door until her car disappears up the street, and then Cas lets out a gusty sigh.    
  
"Dean," he says, and that's enough. 

Dean knows how it feels. Dean knows how Cas feels. Drained, empty, exhausted. He holds Cas, shores him up, and keeps him squeezed in a hug. "I got you." 

 

 

  
  
Dean's eating breakfast when Cas drops a magazine under his nose.    
  
It's been a few weeks since Hester left. Things have been... interesting. Hester calls every few days and requests to Skype with her granddaughters. Mary's irrationally excited about Skype, and loves performing for her grandmother on camera. One day it's a song, the next it's some interpretive dance thing. Dean has no idea where she picks it up, but it's fun to watch.    
  
Claire kinda just hangs out during these Skype sessions, and occasionally blabbers or crawls away towards Buddy. Or farts explosively enough to startle Dean in the kitchen. Remembering the way Mary, Claire, and even Hester had burst into giggles after that still makes Dean smile.    
  
As for Cas, there were a few sleepless nights owing to the nightmares. Dean's a fairly light sleeper (when he's not pregnant), so it wakes him up even though he catches Cas trying to hide it from him. Usually. He just holds Cas, and that helps. Cas takes the open invitation to talk about it sometimes, but usually Cas just wants to bury his nose in Dean's neck and cry in relief. It hurts to know that Cas is hurting and there's not much Dean can do to make it better.    
  
The nightmares peter off, slowly but surely, and Cas turns the affection up to eleven.    
  
Now that Dean thinks about it, he and Cas have never been terribly romantic in the traditional sense. They’re not given to grand gestures and elaborate gifts. They do birthdays but Dean suspects that's because they do the pups' birthdays. Anniversaries are often last minute and-slash-or completely forgotten. The only reason Dean ever realizes it's Valentine's Day is because of the candy at the grocery store. He's kinda okay with them being a boring old grumpy couple.    
  
But then Cas really gets into it. And honestly, Dean enjoys it a little. Okay, a lot. He loves being cornered for random kisses. Particularly loves breakfast in bed, followed by enthusiastic blow jobs. He'll never admit it but he really loves that Cas brought him flowers once. He'd gotten all defensive and embarrassed, and teased Cas about it ("Roses? Really?"), but he loved it. Whenever he's sure Cas isn't watching, he stops to sniff them long enough that it makes his nose itch.    
  
So, this magazine.    
  
Dean looks up from his bowl of cereal and finds 'Omega Grooms' staring back at him, replete with a lurid photograph of a skinny, traditionally pretty male omega. Doe eyes, big lips, small built. He's dressed in a virginal white tux with strategic skin-baring cut-outs at the collar bones. It's barely a tux, because come on, what kind of tux has a jacket that probably cuts off circulation, a lace shirt that’s a step away from lingerie, and even tighter tiny booty shorts trimmed with the tutu stuff? There's even a veil. The omega's laughing, as though he naturally hangs out with his ass in the air and his hands oh-so-casually framing his crotch. This is some Grade A alpha objectification fantasy bullshit. If this is something Cas is angling for, it's a little surprising, but he's in for a disappointment.    
  
"I'm not wearing that," Dean says flatly.    
  
Cas rolls his eyes. "I didn't expect you to. That was not the point. Planning a wedding takes months. I thought we should start."    
  
Right. That. Hester kinda ruined the whole wedding thing for Dean by making it seem like there's now a big, fat house-sized incentive to get married.    
  
"Why can't we just go down to the courthouse and sign the thing?" Dean asks, and immediately regrets it.    
  
"Because," Cas says, looking wounded. "I want to celebrate it with our friends and family. I thought you wanted that too."    
  
"I do," Dean says hurriedly. "It's just, if this is about the house-"   
  
"It's not about the house," Cas snaps, and shit, Dean's really done it. Cas looks both hurt and annoyed, but a moment later he sighs, and just looks defeated. "I've wanted to marry you long before my mother came into the picture. We've been engaged for over a year now, Dean. You were pregnant then so we waited, but what's holding us back now?"    
  
And well, Cas has a point.    
  
Silence is obviously the worst option, because a few moments later, Cas asks quietly, "Do you not want to get married anymore?"   
  
"No, it's not that," Dean insists, shaking his head. He sets his spoon down and pinches the bridge of his nose because he really fucked this one up. "I want all that," Dean sighs eventually. "I just feel like we're doing it all now 'cuz your mom's in a big hurry for some reason."   
  
Cas chews his lip for a moment, thinking this through. Trying to rationalize it. "We were understandably preoccupied with Claire. My mother just reminded us of our plans. What's so bad about that?"    
  
"Nothing," Dean concedes. "I'm being an idiot."    
  
Cas sighs again, but this time he walks to sit beside Dean. "No, you're not."   
  
"I'm your idiot," Dean says instead. He just really doesn’t want to argue about this anymore either way. Whether he’s right or wrong about the house, Cas has wanted this for so long. And Dean’s wanted it too, but maybe with not as much urgency.    
  
"And I'm yours," Cas says, cracking a small smile.    
  
Dean pecks Cas on the cheek, turning his attention back to Claire for a moment. She's in her high chair, making a big mess out of her puréed fruits.    
  
"You wanna be the ring bearer, sweetheart?" he asks Claire, and she grins toothily and shrieks something unintelligible back at him, windmilling her arms and getting her breakfast everywhere but in her mouth.    
  
"I think that's a yes," Dean beams at Cas. "There. We've officially started planning. You happy?"   


Cas kisses him, hard and sweet. "Very." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays all! Hope you're having a good time, no matter what you're celebrating (or not)!


	8. Chapter 8

The wedding planning does not go according to plan.

At least, it’s not going according to the plan Dean had in mind. Not that he’d planned. He was allergic to plans that were more thought out than the ideas he had five seconds before winging it. Cas, on the other hand… something of a meticulous planner. To a fault. Depending on the situation.   
  
And the thing is, Dean's already made a lot of compromises, okay? This is supposed to go a certain way. He’s supposed to make the outrageous demands and Cas just shows up at the altar like a good alpha. Instead, it’s all backwards. Dean’s the one that just wants something simple. He's happy to just throw a party at the Roadhouse and call it a day, but Cas insists that it has to be a proper little ceremony at a church. Dean supposes the Roadhouse is probably a little too rough-and-tumble for a wedding, so he concedes. He considers fighting for it just to see the look on Hester's face, but decides against it eventually.    
  
That’s only the tip of the iceberg, though. Dean agrees to letting a very excited Cas bake the wedding cake. Agrees to let it be a cake instead of the much more awesome wedding  _ pie _ . He's even agrees to let Cas have his candy buffet table (“Mary's teeth are gonna rot before she turns eight at this rate. That’s on you, Cas, not me!”) which honestly sounds really good. Once they settle on an open bar together, Dean actually starts feeling good.    
  
They even agree that they’ll both wear black, and Cas promises that nothing will be pink. Or yellow.    
  
“So, shall we make a list?” Cas asks one afternoon, chipper and bright, like he has been since the entire planning process began.

Claire’s snoozing in her crib, and Buddy’s curled up on the foot of Mary’s bed keeping an eye on her. There’s actually a little peace and quiet in the house for once, and Dean had been looking forward to putting his feet up and catching up on some TV and napping. 

When he groans in protest, Cas produces two notepads and pens seemingly out of thin air. “I think it's best to finalize the guest list, and we can figure out everything else based on that number.”   
  
“Fine. But we’re only inviting family,” Dean warns, but he's in a good mood, so he still thinks this is all going well. “I really don’t want to see three hundred strangers showing up for the free food.”    
  
“Oh, that reminds me– we need to figure out the menu,” Cas says absently, scribbling something in his pad.    
  
Dean rolls his eyes and starts writing as well. “Alright. Close family only, okay?”   
  
Cas hums in agreement, and they work in silence for a few minutes.    
  
“Okay, I’m done,” Dean announces. He looks over and finds Cas scratching behind Buddy's ears with a thoughtful frown on his face, so he says, “Time to share with the class, babe. Lets hammer this out, I gotta get dinner started.”   
  
Cas sighs heavily. “Alright. I suppose they can't be family if I can't think of them right away.”   
  
“Yep,” Dean says cheerily, and grabs Cas' notepad. He makes his way down the short list of names (some of which overlap with his), and stops short at a particular name. “Madison? From the bakery? Cas, no, she's not family.”    
  
“She's part of my work-family,” Cas protests. “I want Charlie to be there, so I have to invite her as well.”   
  
“By that logic, I get to invite all the other mechanics at the garage,” Dean argues.    
  
Cas scowls. “You know that isn’t the same thing. And even if it was, I'm not stopping you from doing that.”   
  
“Okay, I’m gonna veto–”   
  
“That's not fair, we didn't agree to that–”   
  
“Life’s not fair, Cas. I agreed to everything else, but I don’t really know Madison. It’s weird. It’s supposed to be a close family thing and suddenly there’s this girl from work only you know.”    
  
Cas fumes silently for a moment and then snaps, “Fine. I get a veto too, then.”   
  
“Alright,” Dean agrees, flippant. He’s confident that there's no one Cas can kick out from his list. He didn't put down Aaron, or Victor, or Lisa, or even Krissy and her father, and they were much closer to family than Madison. At least the pups know them all, and Dean's willing to bet Mary has no idea who Madison is.    
  
Cas snaps his fingers when he’s halfway through the list. “Benny.”    
  
Dean scoffs. “Benny's family.”   
  
“You've slept with him,” Cas points out icily.    
  
“That’s– Cas, that was ages ago,” Dean argues, feeling both defensive and surprised that Cas would go there. Honestly, he’s taken aback that Cas even remembers. “Besides, I never actually spent the night, or slept after we–” he stops short when he sees the stony look on Cas' face. Right. Not important. “Look. It didn't mean anything. He's one of my best friends; in fact, he’s the one that got us together. He encouraged me to go after you.”    
  
“We're getting married, Dean. I’m not wrong for finding it strange and unappealing to invite another alpha you've had sex with to our wedding.”   
  
And well, when Cas puts it like that, he’s got a point.    
  
Dean grumbles, scratching off Benny’s name from the list. “All this because I won’t let you invite your little assistant from work.”   
  
“I have never had sex with any of my invitees,” Cas says archly. “Certainly not Madison.”    
  
“Slut-shaming your future husband, that’s real classy. Maybe you should move to the couch until the wedding so I don't get shamed for sleeping with the groom,” Dean bites back irritably.    
  
“Don’t be ridiculous, Dean.”    
  
“Madison’s more of a home wrecker than Benny ever was.”    
  
Cas laughs in disbelief. “And how’s that?”   
  
“Every time she fucked up, you had to go in to work.”    
  
“Oh my god.” Cas throws his hands up in exasperation. “Dean, this is getting stupid. I’m going to pick up Mary from the bus stop.”   
  
“If anything, she kept you from sleeping with me!”    
  
This time Cas doesn't even dignify that with a response. He just launches a cushion at Dean's face, and leaves the room, shaking his head.

 

 

 

When Cas comes back with Mary in tow, Dean's already started dinner. 

The days have turned colder so Dean whips up a soup. Mary had been nursing a slight cold in the morning, just the barest of sniffles, so he hopes that something warm and nutritious will head it off at the pass. 

Apparently, he’s too late.   
  
“Hey, sweetheart,” he greets, smiling when Mary walks into the kitchen. One look and he knows she’s already sick and exhausted. He picks her up even though she's definitely too big to be carried around. At least it's just for a hug, so he squeezes her, kisses the top of her head and scents her quickly.    
  
“Hi daddy,” she murmurs, punctuating it with a pull of snot.    
  
“How's my girl?” he asks, pressing the back of his hand to her forehead. No fever, which is good.    
  
“Head hurts.” She her forehead on his shoulder and coughs wetly into Dean’s shirt. Dean grimaces, but doesn't flinch. He’s had worse.    
  
“My poor puppy,” Dean says sympathetically, rubbing her back and rocking her gently. “We're gonna take care of you, and you'll be good as new in no time. Guess what daddy’s making for dinner?”   
  
“Tomato rice–” Mary pauses to cough again. “Tomato rice soup.”    
  
Dean feigns a shocked gasp. “How did you know?”    
  
Mary giggles. “I can see it, daddy. And smell it. I’m right here.”    
  
“Aw, I guess that was bound to stop working. You’ve gotten too smart for your old man’s dumb jokes, huh?” Dean turns slightly to keep her away from the stove, and uses his free hand to give the pot a quick stir.    
  
“I think she should rest,” Cas says, smoothing her hair back.     
  
“Yeah,” Dean agrees quickly, already feeling pretty bad. He’d considered letting Mary stay home, but in the morning, she’d seemed alright. Now, she’s wiped out, clearly exhausted. “I’ll call the school right away. Can you tuck her in? I’ll bring dinner up in a few minutes.”    
  
“Of course,” Cas murmurs, taking Mary from Dean carefully. She mumbles something unintelligible, and Cas says, “Anything for you, munchkin.”    
  
Dean watches Cas carry her upstairs and grabs his phone. Once the school’s informed, Dean waits for the soup to simmer before he pours Mary some in her favorite bowl. Unfortunately Ben’s bad taste in pop culture has a bigger influence on Mary than Dean's, so everything is Frozen-themed. Dean decides that he’s choosing to believe that if Mary’s a fan, it can’t be that bad. He just can’t listen to the damn song another time.    
  
Upstairs, Cas is sitting up in Mary's bed, singing softly (and totally off-key), and Mary's curled up to his side in her pajamas, head resting on his chest. Buddy’s at the foot of the bed, nose buried in her toes. The sight tugs at Dean's heart, but he swallows and steps in. He needs to look after his puppy right now, he can have his moment later.   
  
Cas stops singing. “Hey,” he says, squeezing Mary's shoulder gently. “Daddy’s here with your soup.”    
  
Mary whines and burrows closer. “Not hungry.”    
  
“I know, sweetheart, but you have to eat a little so you can have some medicine,” Dean soothes, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Otherwise you're gonna keep feeling yucky, and we don’t want that, do we?”    
  
“No,” Mary says stubbornly, turning her face away.    
  
“Mary,” Cas says, just sternly enough to get her attention. “It’s for your good, puppy. Let’s have one bite for everyone, okay? That’s all, just one for everyone, and not a bite more.” He takes the bowl from Dean, and lifts up a spoonful of soup, blowing on it to cool it.    
  
Mary lifts her head, glaring at the soup balefully. “Promise?”   
  
“I promise,” Cas agrees, holding the spoon out for her. “Here, the first bite’s for daddy.”     
  
Mary grudgingly opens her mouth and lets him feed her.    
  
“There,” Cas smiles. “That wasn't so bad, was it?”    
  
Mary shakes her head, and Dean smiles as well, leaning closer to kiss the top of her head. “You’re such a good kid, sweetheart,” he encourages, ruffling her hair.    
  
And so it goes. Cas gets about half the bowl in her. Mary agrees to take a bite for Claire, and Cas, and Uncle Sammy, and Aunt Jess, and Uncle Bobby, and Aunt Ellen, and Grandma Hester,  and Aunt Anna, and Uncle Gabe, and Aunt Jo, and even Aunt Charlie, but not for Aunt Lisa, and certainly not for Ben, or Kristen.    
  
“They can eat their own soup,” Mary decides, and Dean chuckles in fond amusement.    
  
When she clearly can't have anymore, Cas relents, and sets the bowl down. Dean goes to the bathroom to get her a dose of the kids' Tylenol and a cup of water. Once she’s washed that down, it’s time for bed, but Mary refuses to let Cas leave.    
  
“I want dad,” she whines, clinging to Cas’ middle like a barnacle.    
  
Dean sighs and gives in. “Okay, sweetheart,” he agrees, and kisses the top of her head. “You gonna be okay here?” he asks Cas, kissing his forehead as well. “Want me to bring you a couple pillows?”     
  
“I'm fine,” Cas assures, reaching up to pull Dean in for a proper kiss. “Goodnight, Dean.”    
  
“‘Night, babe.”    
  
Dean moves Claire’s crib to his room and even though she doesn’t wake and demand to be fed, he struggles to fall asleep. Cas is only in the next room, he tells himself. He keeps tossing and turning, and thinking about the damn wedding of all things. He’s worried about Mary, but there’s not much to do about that except take her to see the doctor first thing in the morning. Eventually, he dozes off into a restless sleep. He keeps waking up, but Cas doesn't make it back to bed.    
  
In the morning, he finds Claire awake, but not squalling. She’s crawling around in her crib, blabbering softly to herself. Cas is still sitting up in Mary's bed, but he’s fast asleep, mouth askew, and snoring softly. Dean winces in sympathy, because the position looks so uncomfortable, and he’s willing to bet Cas’ neck and back will give him hell for it later. Mary's still curled up into his side, drooling a puddle onto Cas’ chest. Buddy wakes up and pads over to Dean, tail thumping against Dean’s legs.

It’s a moment of peace, but Dean knows it won’t last long. Even without the rush to get Mary ready for school, there will be so many things to do.     
  
“Alright, Buddy,” Dean sighs softly, getting Buddy's leash on. “Let’s get you outside.”   


 

 

 

In the pediatrician's waiting room, Cas yawns and rests his head on Dean's shoulder.    
  
“How much longer?” he asks, rubbing at the dark shadows under his eyes. Mary’s sitting in his lap, coloring studiously in the book offered by the receptionist.    
  
“I couldn’t get an appointment on such short notice,” Dean murmurs, a little apologetic because he knows how tired Cas must be.    
  
“He’s only gonna prescribe antibiotics.” Cas stifles another yawn.    
  
“Yeah, but we still need the prescription,” Dean points out patiently, rubbing Cas’ back slowly. “And we need to know that it’s just the flu, and not anything else.”    
  
“It is the flu,” Cas grumbles. “I was pre-med.”    
  
Dean chuckles fondly. “Yeah, but you didn't become a pup doctor. Maybe it’s changed since your time three decades ago– hey!” He doesn't quite manage to dodge it when Cas swats him, but Cas cracks half a smile, so Dean decides it was worth it.    
  
“Remind me again why I’m marrying you?” Cas asks, rubbing his cheek very unsubtly against Dean’s shoulder.    
  
“‘Cuz you love me.”    
  
Cas sighs, long-suffering and fond all at once. “Yes, that’s true.”    
  
They fall silent for a few moments, listening to the scratch of Mary’s crayons against paper. She coughs occasionally, and Cas rubs her back soothingly until it subsides.    
  
“She didn’t sleep much last night,” Cas says quietly. “The congestion kept her up.” He takes a deep breath, and then sighs. “I was so worried. Even though I knew what it was, and that it wasn’t anything to be terribly worried about. It was the middle of the night and I was scared.”   
  
“Occupational hazard, Cas,” Dean says, giving him a sympathetic smile. “Logic kinda goes out the window when it comes to your pups.”    
  
“Yes, but,” Cas pauses, chewing his lip. “It made me think about some other things. At dinner last night I realized that family has a very specific, clear definition in our home. We may call her Aunt Lisa, but she's not the same as Jess, or Anna. Family is important.”   
  
“Well, yeah.” Dean's not sure where Cas is going with this.    
  
Cas sighs, and leans back a little to look at Dean. “I understand why you vetoed Madison. And you’re right. I won’t invite her.”    
  
“Oh.”   
  
“You can invite Benny if it means that much to you,” Cas says, and even manages to smile about it.    
  
Dean goes a little cold inside, and he realizes he’s actually a little disappointed. Now that he thinks about it, as much as Benny was a friend, he wasn’t... he wasn’t family. Not even the kind that wasn’t blood. Growing up the way he had meant that family came first. Above all else. He cared about his friends, and he’d do a lot for them, but he’d die for his family. He’d turn on his friends for his family in a heartbeat, but he never turned on family. And he’s instilled that in his pup. And he has no doubt he will instill it in Claire, too.    
  
But what disappoints him, to his own surprise, is Cas’ acceptance. Dean only presumed Cas had been romantically involved with Anna, and even though it wasn't true, it still sent hot spikes of jealousy through him. He pushes the memory of the uncomfortable few days she spent with them; he’s still embarrassed about the way he’d fled in the middle of the dinner on the last day. 

Even Hannah had kinda rubbed him the wrong way. At least Hannah was actually angling for a relationship with Cas, and she’d wrongly assumed Dean was some sort of delusional, pregnant omega who’d latched onto a very attractively single Cas.

  
The point is, Dean can see why Cas doesn’t want someone like Benny at their wedding, and now he’s wishing Cas had stood his ground.    
  
“It doesn't,” Dean says. “If my veto sticks, so does yours.”   
  
Cas’ smile is adorably surprised. “Good,” he says, relaxing against Dean again. “Because I would’ve been quite unhappy otherwise. And annoyed.”    
  
“Mary Winchester?” the receptionist calls, stopping Dean from kissing Cas in the waiting room. In front of a dozen other sick children and their tired parents.    
  
“Yes,” Cas says, helping Mary onto her feet, and smiling at Dean like he knows exactly what had been on Dean’s mind. “We’re here.”   
  
Dean decides he can wait until they get home to kiss Cas.     



	9. Chapter 9

Predictably, within the next couple of days Cas catches whatever Mary's got.    
  
Dean wakes up to Cas fidgeting next to him. He turns towards Cas immediately, thinking that Cas is having another nightmare, but Cas is awake, trying to find a position where the congestion doesn't inhibit his breathing. He looks pretty miserable.    
  
"I think I'm dying," Cas says, giving Dean a beleaguered look. His voice is thick, and he swallows, trying to breathe in, but he gives up with a sigh. His eyes water when he looks at Dean plaintively and pleads, "Dean."    
  
Like there's anything Dean can really do about this. At least not anything that will give Cas immediate relief. Secretly, he's pleased. Of course he's not happy that Cas is sick, but it just so happens that it means Dean has the opportunity to dote on Cas now. That he can do. Looking after sick pups is something he could honestly say he's good at. And because Cas rarely lets Dean look after him, Dean's going to use this to love on Cas relentlessly.    
  
"Oh, Cas," Dean murmurs, fighting a smile. When he opens his arms, Cas snuggles closer, whining pathetically.    
  
"I hate this," he grumbles, sniffing into Dean's neck. "I hate it. My head hurts, my throat hurts, my back hurts, and I can't breathe. I can't smell you. Everything hurts, Dean."   
  
"I know, my love," Dean sighs, rubbing slow circles along Cas' back. "If I could, I'd be sick for you so you wouldn't have to. But I can't, so I'm gonna take care of you. It's gonna be okay."   
  
Cas stills. "You've never called me that before."    
  
"No?" Dean asks, frowning thoughtfully. "Well, no better time to start," he smiles, kissing Cas' forehead.    
  
Cas looks at him like he hung the moon, and honestly, there's no greater feeling in the world.    
  
"Say it again, please."   
  
Dean huffs in amusement but thumbs Cas' cheek and complies. "Anything for you, my love."   


And so Cas relaxes into Dean and lets Dean spoil him with kisses and attention for a while.    


It doesn’t last very long though, because Claire wakes up wailing. Now that both Mary and Cas are sick, Dean decides it’s best to quarantine them to Mary’s room. He’d already moved Claire’s crib to his and Cas’ room, so he can’t really dawdle for much longer. Besides, with the pups waking up, there’s stuff that needs to get done. 

Dean doesn't mind terribly that he's back to doing all the chores, and because he's already up, he gets an early start on them. He starts by going on a milk run so he can cook up more soup. Somewhere in the middle of all that, he makes sure Buddy's been walked and fed. Makes sure Claire gets fed and bathed and changed and– honestly, with Cas sharing the burden, Dean just forgot how much work there was.    
  
Eventually Cas and Mary migrate to the couch, and cuddle up under the blankets to watch some lurid kids’ show. When Dean breaks for a few minutes, the sight makes him smile. They both look adorably miserable with their stuffy red noses and bed hair.    
  
"Hey, sweetheart," Dean smiles, sitting down on the far end of the couch. He's got her medicine out, and even though the strong smell makes him sneeze, he pours some into a spoon and endures it.    
  
Mary whines, but separates herself from Cas and crawls closer. "Still feel so yucky, daddy," she murmurs, collapsing inelegantly on top of Cas' legs, and opening her mouth. She takes the medicine without complaint, having thankfully grown out the phase where Dean had to wheedle and plead and bargain with her.    
  
"I know, puppy," he says sympathetically, massaging her head gently while she continues to stare at the TV. She stretches after a few minutes, and sighs, so Dean kisses the top of her head and asks, "Feel better?"   
  
"Little bit," she says distractedly, and Dean chuckles.    
  
"Look, on the bright side, you get to spend all day at home watching your shows with dad," he says, and Mary smiles almost immediately. "Just a few more days, and you'll be fine," he promises, before heading over to Cas. He leans over the back of the couch and kisses the top of Cas' head as well.    
  
Cas grabs Dean's hand, trapping him in place. "I hate being sick," he grumbles.    
  
"I can bring you some medicine too," Dean offers, only half-teasing.    
  
"I hate the stuff," Cas whines pathetically. "It's sticky and makes my nose all runny."    
  
Dean sighs softly. "How can I make it better, babe? You want some tea?"   
  
"I want you to hold me," Cas says, pausing to blow his nose in a Kleenex. "But I can't ask you to do that because you'll catch this too."   
  
"I'll be fine," Dean insists, starting to nudge Cas up so he can sidle in behind him. "I got my shots."   
  
Cas gives him an annoyed look that doesn't really work with the watery eyes. "Dean, please, someone has to look after Claire. You can't take a risk like that."    
  
"Alright," Dean sighs, relenting. He squeezes Cas' shoulder and asks, "Why don't you two get some more sleep, hm?" When he grooms Cas slowly, Cas groans in relief.    
  
"I can't smell you upstairs," Cas explains mournfully, squeezing Dean's hand before he lets go.    
  
That's more than a little, well... adorable. Dean kisses Cas' cheek despite Cas' protests, and tucks him into the blanket properly. "We can cuddle once I get everything done."    
  
"I can't get upstairs," Cas complains, adjusting himself to lie down on the couch, head resting on the armrest. Mary clambers in beside him and settles down with a sigh. "It's too many stairs, Dean. It's too much work for me right now."    
  
Dean suppresses a smile at the grumbling but doesn’t argue. It would make things a lot easier for him if they napped here. Then he wouldn't have to carry the food upstairs and bring the dishes down when they were done, and all that crap.     
  
As promised, the soup is done not much later. It's chicken noodle this time, and Dean wakes Cas and Mary up, feeding Claire with a bottle as he watches them nurse their bowls. Cas yawns miserably, but Mary's visibly getting better. She has more energy, and once she’s showered that night, Dean can tell she's almost fine. One more night's rest, and she'll even be able to go to school tomorrow.    
  
Cas, on the other hand, is not doing so well. So Dean shuffles them around again, and Cas is back in bed with him that night, and the pups are in their room across the hall.    
  
When Dean tries to help him into bed, Cas grumbles and shrugs him off. "Stop it, I'm fine. Keep an eye on Mary," he says, scowling. "I don't think she should be sleeping alone."    
  
"She's fine," Dean says, sitting on the edge of the bed with a sigh. "Besides the puppy monitor's still there. It'll pick it up if she needs us, or she'll just come here and get us, like she usually does."   
  
Cas sighs as he sags against the pillows. He looks sheepish. "Sorry. I know I've been difficult all day"   
  
Dean leans close and kisses him chastely on the lips. "Don't worry about it." He rearranges them so he's spooning Cas, and slides Cas' shirt up so he can rub Cas' back. "How's that feel?"    
  
"Good," Cas says meekly, biting his lip, and Dean smiles at the flush creeping up his neck. "Feels really good actually."   
  
Cas seems so embarrassed by that admission that Dean can't help but chuckle. When he tries to kiss Cas again, his alpha is hesitant, but Dean honestly feels it's worth it, even if he falls sick for his troubles.    
  


 

Once Cas recovers, they decide on a date.    
  
In the beginning, Cas insists that it has to happen in the fall. In a way, this whole wedding thing has been... illuminating. Dean gets to spend a lot of time listening to Cas' fantasies, and there's little else he wants to do anyway. Cas wants golden-red leaves, and the crisp musk of wood, and the sharp-sweet tang of apples, and the heady warmth of cinnamon. The only problem, it turns out, is that so do a lot of other couples.    
  
They need to book the venue, but the nice old church Cas likes is booked up. Apparently, he and Cas are the crazy ones for not planning three years into the future. So they look at another church. And another. They even look at the golf course. They come back to the first church, but they keep getting pushed back from Cas' ideal window of dates in October.    
  
"Late November will be too cold," Cas grouses, looking upset.    
  
"I know, babe, but this is all they've got." Dean fidgets as the church's event coordinator watches them with a placid, patient smile. She looks like she's used to having to deal with this sort of this thing, and is practiced in the art of checking out of her body temporarily while still looking politely interested.    
  
Cas hums, poking at the calendar app on his phone. He pulls up the twenty-sixth, then taps back out, and pulls up the nineteenth, and taps back out. He sighs despondently and scrolls back up to October.    
  
"Why don't we just do it at home?" Dean suggests softly, angling his body towards Cas, trying for some privacy. The lady suit's just staring at them with that vacant possessed doll smile. She's not even blinking, and it's making Dean's skin crawl. He really wants to end this weird meeting.    
  
Cas frowns at him.    
  
Dean sighs and rolls his eyes, scuffing the marble floor with his shoe. "We're literally inviting only ten people," he continues, trying to sell the idea. "We could do it in the backyard. We'd save more money for the good booze, and your candy buffet. Maybe we could get a bouncy castle for Mary and some of the grown ups. It'd be a nice way to say goodbye to the place we started our lives in. With one last big blowout."   
  
Yes, the church is beautiful. And yes, he gets that Cas wants to have his little religious, spiritual something. Dean's actually not really sure why it has to be an old timey church, but that doesn't matter. He's happy to give Cas what he wants, but this is beyond Dean's control. Surprisingly, he manages to convince Cas because Cas is smiling at him now, with that beatific look on his face.   
  
"That's really sweet, Dean. It's actually quite romantic."    
  
"So I take it you're not interested in booking the church for either of those dates?"    
  
Dean jumps when the event coordinator's ghost re-enters her body to ask the question. He'd kinda blocked her soulless robotic weirdness out of his mind and forgotten she was there.    
  
Cas bites his lip, and after a hesitant pause, shakes his head decisively. "No, we're not. Sorry to have wasted your time like that."    
  
"Not at all," she assures them with false cheer. "It's a shame you can't celebrate the most memorable day of your lives at such a memorable venue, but unfortunately, for your ideal date, the church does require bookings a year in advance. I hope you two have a lovely unconventional wedding."    
  
"Wow," Dean mutters under his breath after she just walks away with her binder, leaving them standing in the middle of the church. "What a creepy bitch."   
  
"Dean," Cas admonishes gently, sitting down in one of the pews. Dean sits next to him, and looks up at the altar, follows Cas' gaze up to the stained glass windows, and to the arched ceiling.    
  
Eventually, he sighs and takes Cas' hand in his. "I'm sorry. I know you wanted to have it in here. It would've been beautiful."    
  
"It would've," Cas agrees, absently stroking his thumb over Dean's wrist. He turns to look at Dean, smiling when Dean meets his gaze. "It wouldn't have been what we wanted, though." He leans closer to kiss Dean softly, and then rests his head on Dean's shoulder. "I've been thinking," he continues, drawing nonsense patterns on the back of Dean's hand. "Why don't we have it on our anniversary?"    
  
"When's that?" Dean frowns, trying to remember. They never really celebrated anniversaries. Did they have more than one? First kiss, first date, that kinda thing? It's another reminder that Dean is clearly terrible at this, and it's a wonder that Cas has stuck around this long. Actually, it's unbelievable that Cas knows this and is still planning to stick around forever.   
  
Dean tries to trace back to the beginning. They had to have met around summer because Cas had moved in by Thanksgiving. Thinking about it makes Dean realize how quickly they'd jumped into things, how quickly it'd fallen apart, and how quickly the time has passed since they healed the wounds.    
  
Cas snorts in amusement and punches his arm playfully. "You invited me to dinner. September eighteenth."    
  
"You remember that?"   
  
Cas nods, a little shy. "It's the day my life changed."   
  
Mine too, Dean thinks, but looking at Cas, he knows that Cas knows. He doesn't have to say it aloud.    
  
He may have forgotten the date, but he remembers the beginning, when they'd hid from Mary, and spent every other hour together, kissing and talking all wrapped up in each other like a couple of giddy teenagers in love for the first time. Maybe they were in love for the first time, or at least, getting to be in love for the first time. Dean has certainly never felt the same way for anyone else. He remembers the ache of having to part at night, the anticipation that ate the hours of their separation, and the sweet, lingering moments of reunion.    
  
He'd fallen for Cas, slow and reluctant at first, and then suddenly and completely. They'd had a dreamy courtship, full of the strange, wonderful, heady thrill of having found -- Dean paused at the downright sappy turn in his thoughts -- their other halves. Truly, their better halves. Finally, he gets why people believe in soulmates, but Cas was more than that. Cas was the half of his soul that made him whole.    
  
Sitting in the church next to Cas, absorbed in a quiet, contemplative silence, Dean feels dizzy. He feels like he might've loved Cas forever already. In a million different ways, in a million different lives. And he feels them sometimes with an enormous, indescribable ache, like he has the imprint of a memory, like the negative of a photograph, floating just out of his grasp in the wisps of a evanescing dream. Maybe in some distant echo of their universe, he and Cas died apart, loving each other, and never getting the chance to be.   
  
In this one though, they get to live together. This is better. So yeah, they're gonna celebrate the crap out of it.    
  
Well, Dean shakes himself inwardly with a small laugh that draws Cas' attention. If he's gonna get all existential over a date, maybe that's why they don't really celebrate anniversaries. Cas looks at him curiously, but Dean can't put his thoughts, and this strange, heavy feeling into words, so he smiles.   
  
"Okay," he says, bringing their joined hands up to kiss Cas' knuckles. "Sounds good to me. It gives us about three months to get our shit together."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being so patient and coming along for the ride. I hope you enjoy this final offering.

In the bathroom, Dean stares at the sink in dismay. He's got the medicine cabinet cracked open, and a blister pack of his suppressant empty in his hands. Sighing deeply, he tosses it in the trash can. He's out, and he's gonna have to go get another prescription. It's a pain in the ass.

Cas wears a condom when they knot now. Not that either of them is terribly excited about that, but Cas insists, and Dean agrees, that his system needs a break. It's not exactly healthy to swing from the wild hormonal flux of pregnancy and childbirth to completely suppressing it all once he's done. His body needs to regulate itself. Besides, Dr. Moseley had advised against it anyway, since he'd been nursing at the time.

"Daddy, I can't find my guitar skirt," Mary calls, barreling into the bathroom and broadsiding Dean. He's grateful he'd decided to wrap a towel around his waist.

He shuts the medicine cabinet and ushers her out into his and Cas' room. "It's probably being washed, sweetheart," he explains, smoothing her hair down. "Why don't you wear something else?"

"It's Tuesday," Mary protests, like that's supposed to just make sense to Dean. "It's my favorite skirt. I want my skirt!"

"Mary, if it's not in your closet, it's in the wash, and you can't wear it," he says impatiently. He lets out an aborted sigh, and forces himself to relax. It's not Mary's fault, and she doesn't deserve him losing his temper or patience over something so small. "Can you go ask your dad to help you with this?" he asks. "I got a lot to do right now, okay?"

Mary looks mutinous for a moment, crossing her arms defiantly, and Dean can feel the beginnings of a headache, but she stomps off.

Dean sighs in relief and starts to get dressed.

The suppressants are a crutch. Not taking them makes him feel antsy and irritable; not for any effect the pills have on him, but simply the security of knowing his heat is being controlled. It's not gonna spring up on him and catch him with his pants down. Quite literally.

He doesn't want to worry about his heat again until well after the wedding, but now he's gonna have to have a whole conversation with Cas. Well, he doesn't have to, but... Dean honestly doesn't see the appeal of staying cooped up in an expensive hotel room leaking slick and losing control of his body when they could be having a good time outside. Taking in the sights, checking out the food, having sex because they want to, not because his body's crying out for it. He smooths his shirt down and stares at his socked feet. That's decided, then. No heat. He'll refill his prescription.

He passes by Mary's room, smiling ruefully when he sees Cas giving her a stern talking to for getting so worked up over a skirt. It was true, one of Mary's tantrums had been brewing on the horizon, and Cas had this way of arresting it with a few words. Dean suspected it was the tone, and the whole alpha thing he turned on for that, more than the actual reasoning behind what Cas said.

And while Dean feels a little bad about the skirt, he's still preoccupied with the suppressants. He stops by the washer, and sure enough the skirt Mary wanted is in there, still damp. Hastily, he stuffs the entire load into the dryer and heads to the kitchen.

It feels like a cereal kind of morning. Dean first feeds Claire, who wants more and more solid foods. He sets her up with some fruit (blueberries and slices of half a banana) and a cup of oatmeal. She eats the whole thing, with some oatmeal splashing, and looks at him expectantly. When Dean raises an eyebrow at her, she grins toothily back (with a grand total of two milk teeth), and flaps her arms, so he chuckles and goes to scramble an egg for her.

By the time he heats up the pan, Mary's downstairs, so he makes her eggs too, a little cheesier than Claire's to make up the whole skirt thing to her. Cas makes it downstairs freshly showered when both the pups are munching through breakfast quietly. It's a rare morning of peace, and Dean's secretly relieved for it because he didn't have the energy for much.

"I'm late for work," Cas says, looking frazzled. He's wearing his usual button-down-and-jeans, and his hair is still damp. He makes a grab for his lunch sandwich in the fridge, and catches Dean by the hip on his way to the sink for a kiss. It's a nice, minty shock, and Dean presses back gently, but Cas just moved his head to nuzzle beneath Dean's ear, snuffling softly.

"I thought you were late," Dean reminds him wryly.

Cas tightens his grip on him. "You smell different. Good. Really good, actually."

"Really?" Dean asks nonchalantly, suppressing a shiver. Honestly, before Cas, he hadn't been terribly diligent about his suppressants. He'd been on them for so long, and so consistently, that if he lapsed and went into heat, he could just get back on the suppressants, and it'd be, well, suppressed. A little scent blocker, and staying away from alphas, and Dean didn't even have to take the day off from work.

And then Cas happened. Dean missed one day, and Cas with his stupid, gorgeous scent had triggered a full-blown heat, the likes of which Dean hadn't gone through since he first presented.

"Yes," Cas says firmly, pulling back to look at Dean curiously. "It's almost like..." he licks his lips, nostrils flaring slightly. Closing his eyes, he sighs, "Like when you were pregnant."

And that sends another swoop of panic through Dean. Condoms break. And even if they didn't, with knotting, the percentage of safety went down quite a bit. There was no way around it; Dean was seeing Dr. Moseley today.

"Get to work, you weirdo," Dean teased flippantly, kissing Cas again to hide his nerves. "I gotta walk Mary to the bus stop."

Cas lets him pull away from the kiss, but doesn't let go. He takes a deep breath, and when he opens his eyes, they're close enough that Dean sees his pupils visibly dilate. "No," Cas says softly, looking at Dean like he's a revelation. "You smell like you, but stronger. Like..." he trails off, eyes widening, and Dean's heart hammers because he knows the jig is up.

Strangely enough though, Cas freezes and then averts his gaze before backing off. "I'll see you tonight," he says, walking towards Mary. "Have a good day at school, munchkin." He pauses to kiss the top of her head and then heads over to kiss Claire's cheek. "I'll miss you, my puppy," he says solemnly, and Claire slops some egg on his cheek for his troubles. Cas chuckles and wipes it off, kissing the top of Claire's head as well before he leaves.

Dean crosses his arms, feeling weirdly exposed.

"Ready to go, daddy?" Mary pipes up, and Dean nods, shaking himself out of his thoughts.

 

 

 

Dean never ends up going to see Dr. Moseley.

He's halfway through getting Claire's bag ready for the trip when his phone rings, and Bobby all but begs him to come in to work. Bobby'd had to fire Kubrick for showing up drunk to work, and Gallagher's off for some urgent personal crap. There's a backlog, and Bobby wouldn't ask if he wasn't desperate. Given how often Bobby has been there for Dean in his time of need, Dean doesn't even think to refuse. He rushes through packing enough food, diapers and formula for Claire, gets the stroller, and is out the door within fifteen minutes.

At the garage he leaves Claire with Bobby in his office, and knowing that she's in safe hands, he gets to work. It's sweaty, grueling work, especially since the summer heat is still in full force. He breaks for lunch when Cas calls him, chewing on a sandwich as he listens to Cas talk.

"If I can finish them before the day ends, I want you to taste the three different options I've come up with for the wedding cake so we can settle on one," Cas says, and then he hesitates. "I wanted to bring home some frosting, too. For us."

Dean smiles. "Mary's gonna be a handful tonight."

They'd averted the crisis in the morning, but Cas knew as well as he did, that sometimes it just meant that it was going to bubble up and explode in the evening. "I suppose," Cas sighs reluctantly. "Just the cakes then." He changes the subject abruptly, and says, "A lot of our customers still remember you, you know. They ask if the pregnancy went well, and how our pup's doing."

"That's nice," Dean murmurs, feeling a twinge of nostalgia. Cas had been so sweet about it, too. Constantly hovering around the cash register, insisting that Dean sit down and rest his feet. They’d raked in a fair load in tips, so that'd been a great incentive.

Being pregnant had been good. Well, it hadn't been all bad. Cas was a great father, but he was also a doting mate. The beginning had been rough, between the nausea, and their brief separation hanging over them, but once they hit the second trimester, it'd been pretty good. Cas had dealt with the temper tantrums and tears patiently, and more importantly, he'd taken care of Dean. Any hour of the day, he'd be ready to provide back rubs and foot rubs and pretty much every other kind of rub. He'd been generous and indulgent even during that odd week when Dean had been crazy horny, and craving strawberry jello.

"That was a strange week," Cas says with a laugh, and Dean starts. Apparently he'd said that out loud. "I was a little worried that I'd end up with... chafing. Or you'd end up with a yeast infection."

"Cas," Dean groans, torn between disgust and amusement. "Don't ruin it."

Cas laughs some more. "I should get back to work," he says reluctantly. "I have some more cupcakes to ice."

"Alright. See you at home."

"I love you," Cas says, waiting for Dean to say it back before he hangs up.

 

 

 

By the time Dean gets home, he's stinking and covered in grease. He orders a pizza and hits the shower. Cas said he'd pick up Mary, so he just takes Buddy out for a walk when he's done, carrying Claire in his arms while Buddy does his business. Their new neighbors are moving in across the street, and Dean waves back amicably before cleaning up after Buddy and heading home.

Dinner is uneventful. Cas looks tired, and there’s not a lot of heat in his tone when he sends Mary to her room after she tries to throw her tantrum.

Dean's in bed, trying to book an appointment with Dr. Moseley on his laptop when Cas emerges from the bathroom with the empty blister pack in his hand.

"Are we going to talk about this?" he asks.

Dean bristles. "About you snooping through the trash?"

"I wasn't snooping–" Cas starts, but he stops himself and sighs. "I didn't need to find this to know you ran out. I just don't understand why you need to hide it from me. It's not like I'm going to coerce you to go off them and into heat."

"It’s not about that." Dean pauses and shuts his laptop. "I'm used to dealing with it on my own."

Cas looks wounded. "In the two years we've been together, you've gone into heat once, Dean. I've never persuaded you into it. I'm thrilled with our sex life, and I don't need you to go into heat if you don't want it."

Dean hunches his shoulders defensively. "Yeah, but you want it. And I feel bad saying no."

"I promise I'm satisfied–"

"Cas, look, we're barely a month away from the wedding,” Dean interrupts, pulling his knees up to his chest and subconsciously trying to make himself smaller. “Knowing my timing, if I go off the suppressants, I’ll go into heat on the date of the wedding, and ruin all the stuff you planned. We planned,” he amends guiltily, no longer able to meet Cas’ gaze. He picks at the sheets and sighs before continuing, “I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Cas is silent for a few minutes, but then he rests a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Can I ask –do you think you’ll ever want to go into heat again?” His voice turns bitter as he continues, “Or have I ruined that for you?”

“You haven’t ruined anything, Cas,” Dean protests, feeling heavy with guilt. “It’s not a good time, that’s all.”

“It’s never a good time.”

Dean’s heart sinks at the dejection in Cas’ voice. “I mean, what do you want me to do, Cas?” he asks, frustrated. “I thought you said you weren’t gonna force me to go off the suppressants. This is why I didn’t want to bring it up–” he cuts himself off with a soft gasp when he sees the tear roll down Cas’ cheek.

Cas scuffs it away and nods. “No, you’re right,” he says, clearing his throat. “I’m sorry I brought it up. It’s your body, and I have no right to say what I did.”

“Cas, stop,” Dean pleads, truly worried now. He grabs Cas’ hand and pulls him closer. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

He waits until Cas sags against him, but Cas doesn’t speak. Even the tears have dried up. The sadness that suffuses Cas’ scent is so complete and quiet that it prickles along Dean’s skin like a tangible thing.

Cas swallows thickly, and turns to bury his nose in Dean’s neck with a sniff. “We used to talk about syncing our cycles,” he says softly. “I feel like you don’t want to because of how badly I handled it. I did, I know that I did, Dean. My brother’s return turned me into the kind of person– ” He struggles with the words for a moment and then continues, “The kind of person I never wanted to be. That’s why I got away from them. And now you don’t ever want to go into heat again. You don’t trust me.”

Well, if there’s one thing Cas was good at, it was getting to the heart of the matter.

Dean takes too long to reply and Cas’ next breath is practically a sob. “I knew it,” he says bitterly, voice thick with self-loathing. “I think I’ll sleep downstairs tonight,” he continues, extricating himself from Dean’s hold.

“Cas, hang on–” he starts, but Cas just gets to his feet and starts walking away. With a frustrated growl, Dean pushes the sheets away and follows Cas. “Will you just listen to me? You’re right, I don’t really want to go into heat again.” He doesn’t let the way Cas’ face falls affect him just yet. “But it’s not ‘cuz of you. Will you please look at me?” he pleads, cupping Cas’ cheek gently, and Cas complies, miserably meeting his gaze.

“Dean, it’s alright,” he says, voice wavering slightly. “I meant what I said. It is your choice, and I respect it.”

Dean sighs. He’s gonna have to talk about this. There’s no way around it.

“Heats were always rough for me,” he says without preamble, looking away and letting his voice go dull. He’s practiced having to say this quite a few times (even though he never worked up the nerve to actually do it), so he knows how he’s gonna say it, more or less. “I told you my dad wanted me to be an alpha, so it was always an embarrassment when I went into heat. And a disappointment. It was this… reminder. That I wasn’t good enough. And they were bad heats, I learned later in life. Like, around the time I had Mary, and actually saw a doctor. My heats are unusually severe. And yeah, I guess with the way things went the last time, I felt like you didn’t really wanna take that on.” He shrugs, laughing wryly, “My heats are always a pain in the ass. Sometimes literally.”

Cas processes this for a few moments, and then asks, “Is that why I was able to talk you to orgasm last time?”

Dean rolls his eyes in fond amusement. “Probably. I dunno.”

“Dean.” Cas directs him to the bed and sits down beside him before continuing. “The way I behaved was not a reaction to your heat. That was because I let myself slip back into their clutches. Finding out that you went into heat was the best moment of my life. I can’t describe how happy it made me; knowing you were in heat, and that I’d get to share it with you. That I’d get to drink in your scent, and worship your body, and give you all the pleasure you needed. I can’t believe you’d think the things you do.”

Yeah, well. “It’s really just a lifetime of knowing my heats suck.”

“I want to make it good for you, Dean,” Cas says earnestly, wide-eyed and sweet. “I want you to want to go into heat. I really wish I’d get to try, but I understand if you say no.”

And how the hell is Dean supposed to say no to that? “After the wedding–”

“Dean, you don’t have to do this for me,” Cas says, practically quivering at the prospect.

“Shut up and let me talk,” Dean grumbles, swatting his arm. “I wanna try. You make it sound fun. I want the whole nine, okay?” he jokes, trying to come across as casual. “But I gotta get back on them in between. Your stupid sexy alpha pheromones get me all jumped up in no time, and we got a lotta stuff to do right now.” Cas smiles at him beatifically, so Dean tries to cover up his blush by demanding, “What?”

“I’m just remembering that I triggered your heat,” Cas smirks, leaning close to run a hand through Dean’s hair. “I wanted to take my time with you, until you begged with tears in your pretty eyes–”

“I don’t cry,” Dean scoffs, shrugging Cas off with a scowl, and climbing back under the sheets.

Cas follows him, resting his head on Dean’s chest. “Yes, you do. Sometimes. It looks good on you. It’d break my heart if I didn’t know it was because you felt so good. Because I make you feel so good.”

“Yeah, alright, I’m glad we sorted that out and stroked your ego,” Dean grumbles, face so hot he’s sure it’s gonna combust. Cas laughs warmly and gets into bed beside him, tucking him in gently.

With the lights off, Dean lies there for a few minutes, head spinning. What did he just agree to?

“Dean,” Cas says softly, pressing a kiss to the nape of his neck, and winding an arm around his middle. “I won’t blame if you change your mind.”

And that’s when Dean knows he’s made a decision. “I won’t.”

“Are you sure?” Cas asks, sliding his hand under Dean’s shirt to rest against his belly.

Dean smiles. “Yes.”

 

 

 

“You gave me fifteen minutes,” Cas says obstinately, crossing his arms petulantly.

Dean groans and lets his head fall back against the armrest of the couch. “Cas, come on, babe, I’m watching a show.”

“It’s a rerun,” Cas points out, still inching Dean’s shirt up as he settles half on top of, and half between Dean’s legs. “Can you take this off?”

“No,” Dean scowls, pushing his shirt down and reluctantly fighting Cas until Cas actually stills. When he can’t actually hide the smile anymore, Cas plays dirty and blows a raspberry against his tummy. “Cas!” Dean gasps, chuckling despite himself. “I didn’t sign up for this.”

“You’re right,” Cas concedes, crawling up to press a butterfly kiss to one of Dean’s nipples. “But I made some promises to you. I want to start proving I can and will keep them.”

The laughter quiets immediately, and Dean bites his lip, trying to focus on the TV like this isn’t getting to him. Cas presses the flat of his tongue to the nipple and sucks gently, and Dean squirms, making a soft sound. Before anything can really happen though, Cas backs off and blows on it gently. The sensitive bud reacts immediately, hardening and sending a twine of pleasure through Dean.

“Dammit, Cas,” Dean growls softly, and okay, when did he get his hands in Cas’ hair?

“I’ll behave,” Cas promises, settling down again. “Even though you have very cute nipples.”

Dean’s face heats up, and tries to focus on the TV again, because this a good part. Dr. Sexy’s making out with one of the nurses and everything, but he keeps getting distracted by the way Cas is staring at his stomach. He purses his lips as Cas pets the softness of his belly, tracing the stretch marks with gently fingers, and then with his lips.

Cas clears his throat, and Dean watches him out of the corner of his eye. “Hello, Dean’s belly,” he says, and Dean bites his lip again. Cas frowns kind of adorably and adds, “And also, hello, Dean’s ovaries. And Dean’s eggs.”

Dean bites his lip so he won't laugh.

“One day, in the near future, you will be carrying my puppies again,” Cas continues, mouthing a line of kisses from left to right. “I want you to know that you’re my favorite part of Dean–”

“My cock’s getting a little jealous,” Dean interrupts wryly. “And my ass. And my face, by the way.”

“Dean, shut up, please,” Cas says, glaring irritably. Dean holds his hands up in surrender, and Cas presses his lips together. “As I was saying,” he huffs, pressing his cheek to Dean’s abdomen. “I can’t wait to see you full and round with my pups again. Our pups,” he amends a moment later, nuzzling Dean’s belly before pressing another kiss just beneath Dean’s navel. “Thank you for allowing us to create miracles in you. And thank you for nourishing and carrying both Mary and Claire successfully to full terms. They had very joyous births thanks to you. They’re both all grown up and so healthy now. I admire your strength, and I’m grateful to you for not causing my omega any complications. He’s the love of my life, you know.”

Okay, Dean’s not tearing up. Dr. Sexy just lost a patient. That’s it. He’s not even really listening to Cas. Even though Cas is being very distracting.

“You done?” he asks gruffly.

“Not really,” Cas sighs, making Dean jump slightly when he presses a sucking kiss just beneath Dean’s ribs. “But I’ll stop because you want me to.”

He starts to get up, but Dean lets a hand rest in his hair. “Well, what else do you wanna do?” he asks, grudgingly curious.

Cas nuzzles his tummy again, and the delicious rub of Cas’ permanent stubble against the soft skin makes Dean squirm all over. It’s a good kinda squirm that has him pressing closer to Cas, maybe accidentally bumping his crotch against Cas’ chin. “Scent-mark,” Cas says, voice warm and predatory. His fingers splay against Dean’s belly, covering a good portion of it, and he growls, “Mine.”

“Fine,” Dean feigns a put-upon sigh, smiling when Cas rubs against him immediately.

“My omega,” Cas purrs, and Dean tries to pretend his breath doesn’t hitch when Cas nips at his skin. He tightens his grip in Cas’ hair as Cas laps and sucks at the small mark, drawing the blood up. Dean must’ve whimpered because Cas promises, “I’ll take care of you, baby. My sweet, precious omega. My love.”

Despite himself, Dean blushes.

Like he’s talking about the goddamn weather Cas asks, “When can we make love, Dean?”

Dean stretches lazily, smiling when Cas grips his hips and settles him down. He likes when Cas handles him with that easy, alpha confidence, like Cas knows Dean belongs to him. “I dunno,” he murmurs, watching Cas as he rubs his foot along the back of Cas’ calf. “Aside from right now, we don’t have a lotta time. All that last minute wedding crap.”

“Make time for me,” Cas murmurs, plucking at the waistband of Dean’s sweats, and well, Dean’s a good omega for his alpha, so he lifts his hips obediently.

 

 

 

So it turns out that Charlie's ordained (some online thing), and although Cas' side of the family (Hester in particular) isn't thrilled, Dean is. He doesn't want strangers at his wedding, and that includes some possible pedo church dude. He especially doesn't want anyone like that in his own backyard.

The ceremony itself passes in a blur.

Dean knows Cas looked scorching hot, but as they stood there in front of their family and friends, he kinda got lost in those baby blues. He remembers Claire in a pretty blue dress scattering flowers as Jess (looking just as pretty) carried her down the aisle. He knows Mary looked just as gorgeous in a similar blue dress, if a little bored while she waited for things to start. He remembers laughing, and then trying not to cry, and then trying to remember to breathe. He remembers Cas' shy laugh, the way Cas had actually cried. He remembers kissing Cas. Soft, chaste, sweet. Magical.

Right now, he's at the bar (really not much more than a table being tended by Ash) nursing a scotch.

"Your tolerance is shot, boy," Bobby says critically, taking a swig of his beer.

"I'm fine," Dean insists, watching Cas twirl Mary in a circle. "Isn't he the best?" he asks, sighing happily.

"He is quite dreamy," Charlie agrees pensively, sipping on her cocktail.

"Dreamy, yes," Dean nods. "Very."

Bobby rolls his eyes, muttering something about lovesick puppies as he wanders over to Ellen. Dean doesn't mind, because he's watching Cas chat with Hannah. Whatever they’re talking about, Cas looks smug. He smiles when Cas suddenly blushes and gets all awkward.

Dean swallows the rest of his scotch, coughing slightly when it's just a little too big a gulp. "One more," he insists a little hoarsely, tapping his glass on the table. "And a beer," he adds, ignoring the way Ash gives him a dubious look. Drinks acquired, Dean walks over to Cas.

"Hi, babe," he murmurs, pressing the beer into Cas' hands. Belatedly he realizes he'd interrupted whatever Hannah was saying, but she just shuts up and smiles politely.

Cas smiles at him like Dean’s the best thing he’s ever seen, and kisses his cheek. "Thank you, Dean."

"Miss me?" Dean asks, sliding a hand into Cas’ back pocket, grabbing a delicious handful of Cas' butt, and squeezing none-too-gently.

Cas jumps a foot, nearly dropping his beer. His startled look is replaced by one of fond exasperation when Dean chuckles. "Are you drunk?" he asks, winding an arm around Dean's waist and hitching him close.

"Maybe." Dean noses at the sharp, clean-shaven line of Cas' jaw.

"Oh," Cas says. He looks so smug, so very pleased.

"What're you smiling about?"

Cas shakes his head, still smiling enigmatically.

Dean's distracted from demanding more of an answer when he hears Claire shriek. She's fine, giggling her little butt off as she plays with Anna, but Dean's sufficiently distracted. The next time he wanders over, Cas is talking to his mother by the candy buffet.

"... I really think that is a wonderful idea. I know investors who would be very interested. You should draw up a business plan, Castiel--"

"Hey," Dean greets, very steadily and deliberately crashing into Cas' side. He should be more worried about just having interrupted Hester, but he can't find it in him to care. She's wearing a nice grey dress suit, and she greets him with a small nod.

"Hello, Dean," Cas smiles, sliding an arm around Dean's shoulders. He jumps a little when Dean squeezes his ass again. "Yes, I did miss you. Very much."

"Good," Dean says, patting Cas' cheek. "Wanted to check on my husband," he continues, giving Hester a sharp look as he patted Cas' chest. "My husband," he repeats, just in case Hester missed that. "You want another beer, babe?" he asks Cas, kissing Cas' cheek.

"I'd like that," Cas smiles adoringly. "Would you like a peanut butter cup?"

"Hell yeah." Dean opens his mouth obediently, and Cas feeds him a piece.

"Oh lord," Hester mutters in exasperation.

"Yeah, it's pretty gross," Jo chimes in. "Mary's trying to get into the punch, by the way. I mean, literally."

So Dean goes to avert that crisis, and comes back with Mary in tow. Her dress is stained from where it had been dipped in the punch. This time when he grabs Cas' butt, Cas isn't fazed. He simply hooks an arm around Dean, tugging him closer, and continues the conversation he's having.

"Pay attention to me," Dean whines, rubbing his face against Cas' neck. He feels a little dizzy. Wonderfully dizzy.

"I am, baby," Cas murmurs, kissing his temple. "What can I do for you?"

"Can I have some twizzlers?" Mary interrupts, hand already halfway to the table.

Cas shakes his head. "It's not for kids."

"What?" Mary scoffs. "It's candy. It's only for kids."

"Not today, munchkin," Cas says gravely. "Not today."

"But daddy--" Mary protests, rounding on Dean, hands on her hips.

"Let it go, sweetheart, it's dad's day," Dean says, extricating himself from Cas' grip and going over to her. "We'll get you some cake. Or ice cream."

Mary looks hopeful and suspicious. "Or both?"

"Sure," Dean shrugs. "Why not?" He's not the one who's gonna have to get her in bed tonight. Besides, she's been very good, and she deserves to celebrate with them.

Dean switches to beer. Mellows out. Laughs too loudly, and loses his tie. He bickers with Gabe good-naturedly, and dances with Jess while Sam dances with Mary. Then he dances with Cas, feeling giddy with happiness. Cas dips him, and Dean, utterly unprepared for that and still a little tipsy had let out an embarrassing squeak. Not that he needed to worry, because Cas’ arms around him are strong, and when he’s upright again, Cas kisses him between breathless chuckles. Dean blushes when Charlie whoops a moment later, and everyone else joins in with the teasing.

Cas pulls back, grinning, and Dean's struck by how beautiful he is.

The sun starts to set. Somehow, the couch cushions and a bean bag chair Dean didn't know they owned end up outside along with the chairs. He walks around, making sure everyone has enough to eat, when Cas pulls him down to sit beside him on one of the cushions. He moves to sprawl half on Cas' lap instead, with Claire snoozing on his chest. Cas runs a slow hand through Dean's hair, and they listen to Charlie, Hannah and Jo have a spirited conversation about online dating for betas.

"Dean?"

Dean stirs. "Hm?"

"Should we call it a night?" Cas asks, smoothing Dean's hair back with caresses.

"Claire's asleep," Dean says, mulling it over. He shifts slightly with a soft groan and finds Mary fast asleep, curled up against her uncle. "So's Mary."

"It's past their bedtime," Cas says reasonably. "Are you tired?"

Dean shakes his head with a grin. "Night's just gettin' started for you an'me."

He feels Cas' smile brush against his forehead. Dean tips his head back and Cas kisses him, all sugary and sticky.

"Are you happy, Cas?"

Cas blinks, and then smiles. "Of course I am. I think the last time I was this happy was the day Claire was born. But even that wasn't like this." He bumps Dean gently. "Are you happy?"

Dean draws in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "Let's see. I got a dreamy husband. Two beautiful puppies. The best family in the world. I'm gonna say I am. I'm pretty happy."

"I love you so much," Cas murmurs, kissing him fervently.

Dean doesn't let him pull back when they pause to breathe a little later. "I guess it's a good thing we're spending the rest of our lives together, then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, this is my first chaptered fic that I posted as I wrote. I actually had the final installment finished (well, the bare bones) for a while now. I moved states, started a new job, and experienced some mild heartbreak over the course of the time it took me to put together. I wrote this story as a form of self-healing... and now it's time for me to let it go. I wanted to leave it here in its entirety for the people who read and supported me in this, but eventually I will take it down. Thanks so much for the love, and please watch this space (aka my ao3 account) for more. I have many more stories to share, and I hope you all will join me on them.


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